Shut the door on doubts…

Occasionally I pray this from the Bible, always expecting an answer yet dreading it:

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! (Psalm 139:23–24)

One way God answers is by dreams. In them, I’m doing something that shocks me and makes me feel shame when I wake up. If I question God about it, He usually replies with something like, “Would you rather find out your sinfulness in real life?”

I had a dream like that last night. It repeats in various forms and this time I woke up doubting that God would ever purify my selfishness to the point that this dream would never again happen. However, today’s devotional took a bull’s eye shot at that notion. It was about the selfishness of doubting, saying that to some people doubting God is a luxury, a ‘poor me’ attitude that is just as hard to give up as any self-centered indulgence.

The author says, “Do not your doubts come trooping to your door like a company of sympathizing friends who appreciate your hard case and have come to console you? Is it no luxury to sit down with them, entertain them, listen to their arguments, and join in with their condolences? Wouldn’t it be real self-denial to turn from them and refuse to hear a word they have to say? Try it and see.”

This author gives the example of brooding over someone’s unkindness that produces that ‘poor me, how I have suffered’ focus that turns love for God into a ‘God has forsaken me, does not love me, and I am too sinful for Him to care for and transform.’ All that self-pity is actually easier to live with than the sinfulness He exposes and the obedience He is asking for!

This brings to mind the faith of Abraham when he was commanded by God to slay his son, the one through whom God's promise depended on. How could God bless this patriarch as the father of nations if his son was dead? But not a shred of self-pity in this man. He took his boy up a mountain and laid him on an altar. Only then did God intervene and provide a substitute sacrifice.

My selfishness in this dream is about being willing to sacrifice everything I want and serve the Lord alone. No other gods, no idols, no ‘I wants’ that go against what He wants. I know the importance of obedience. The OT puts it this way:

“If you are not careful to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that you may fear this glorious and awesome name, the Lord your God, then the Lord will bring on you and your offspring extraordinary afflictions, afflictions severe and lasting, and sicknesses grievous and lasting. And he will bring upon you again all the diseases of Egypt, of which you were afraid, and they shall cling to you. Every sickness also and every affliction that is not recorded in the book of this law, the Lord will bring upon you, until you are destroyed. Whereas you were as numerous as the stars of heaven, you shall be left few in number, because you did not obey the voice of the Lord your God. And as the Lord took delight in doing you good and multiplying you, so the Lord will take delight in bringing ruin upon you and destroying you… but the Lord will give you there a trembling heart and failing eyes and a languishing soul. Your life shall hang in doubt before you… (Deuteronomy 28:58–67)

In contrast, the NT considers the obedience of Christ as being the offering to God that His people have never been able to make. In other words, my sins and selfishness are covered by the sacrifice of Christ and my response is to be like His…

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. (Romans 12:1)
And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 5:2)
Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. (Hebrews 13:15)

Walk in love, worshiping and praising God, obeying as He gives the will and the ability to do so. Stop that ‘poor me’ which can be an excuse to not say no to something that He shows me as a sinful attitude. Of course I cannot rid myself of it, but I can confess it rather than make excuses for it.

PRAY: Jesus, the flesh is always trying to rise from the dead. Again, I need Your saving power to not only put the old nature in its grave, but also replace it with love for others and praise to You.

His Sacrifice — My Salvation

The OT is filled with commands, rituals and events that point ahead to the day when God would offer Himself as a sacrifice for our sin. The first hint is in Genesis when He covered the nakedness of Adam and Eve, obviously killing animal skins to replace their inadequate attempt to do it with leaves and without the shedding of blood.

The sacrificial system was about God’s promise to provide forgiveness for sin. The lambs were to be perfect, hinting that His sacrifice would be without sin.

Another clue came later when He commanded Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac. Without protest, this man of faith took the boy up a mountain with intention to obey. When the boy asked about a lamb, Abraham said, “God will provide for Himself the lamb.”

Centuries passed. The people were trusting God that the lambs they offered covered their sin until the promised Messiah would come. All through the OT are clues to His identity. He would descend from David and restore God’s people. He would give Himself as an atonement for sin. Yet even then, the prophecy included the horror that He would be rejected by His people.

Isaiah 53:1–12. Who has believed what he has heard from us? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed? For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people? And they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth. Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities. Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors; yet he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors.

When Jesus came, He was just as Isaiah said 600 years earlier. He was rejected and despised, at least by the most religious. Even those who loved Him did not understand that His deliverance was not political but spiritual, and their real enemy was not Rome but sin.

Jesus also did more than shed His blood to cover sin; He undid sin’s curse and by His death released all who believe from sin’s penalty, power, and eventually sin’s presence as He opened the way to the Father and to eternal life. His sacrifice ended the sacrificial system because the blood of lambs could not do what He did:

Hebrews 10:12–14. But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet. For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.

GAZE INTO HIS GLORY. Maybe we talk about it too much without thinking deeply about it. Maybe we take for granted forgiveness and our freedom in Christ. Maybe what He has done too easily becomes an “of course” instead of a great wonder. While resting in His love is far better than struggling with the pressures of life, I’m often in need of giving this wonder deeper thought, and in need of remembering the reason I am still on this earth. As Ephesians 5:2 says, I’m to “Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” This means a life of sacrifice, of yielding my ‘I-wants’ to the One who yielded all to make such sacrifices possible, even desirable. Thank You, Jesus.