I’m reading an excellent book by Joseph M. Stowell called “The Weight of Your Words: Measuring the Impact of What You Say.” This book should be required reading for every Christian. He presents a solid biblical perspective on the power of the tongue and how destructive words can be. As I go through it, I’m thinking it is no wonder that God tells us to “be still. . . .”
After the halfway point in the book, Stowell outlines ways to deal with the factors that often set off our tongues. A major section is how Christians can respond to anger and fear. His first directive is that we must trust God when others hurt us. As providence would have it, this morning’s Scripture verses in my devotional reading are about that very thing.
You have taken up my cause, O Lord; you have redeemed my life. You have seen the wrong done to me, O LORD; judge my cause. You have seen all their vengeance, all their plots against me. You have heard their taunts, O LORD, all their plots against me. The lips and thoughts of my assailants are against me all the day long. Behold their sitting and their rising; I am the object of their taunts. You will repay them, O LORD, according to the work of their hands. (Lamentations 3:58–64)
Jeremiah brought God’s Word to the people, but was ignored, rejected, even thrown in a well and left to die. If anyone had reason to be upset with his enemies, he did, but instead of retaliation, he gratefully acknowledged the grace and power of God. He knew that God is just and he trusted Him to take care of those who had harmed him.
When someone does something hurtful against me, I am no different from the average person; I want to hurt them back. Such a response is counterproductive, selfish, and sinful. Instead, God wants me to trust Him like Jeremiah did. This is not so much about self-control, or being logical. Both are difficult in times of pain brought on by unjust treatment. However, Jesus provides the perfect example of trust. Because He lives in me, I can rely on His responses instead of my own. This means saying no to my own responses and yielding to His attitude of trust.
He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. (1 Peter 2:22–23)
Jesus trusted His Father to take care of His enemies. Because of Him, I can do the same. God knows all and knows what to do when attacks come against the apple of His eye. He cherishes His redeemed people and will take up our cause. For me, believing Him is vital. Like Jeremiah, I need to be confident that God is just and cares about any unjust actions against me.
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Lord, I do not have to defend myself. You will do it. I’ve learned this by experience and read it over and over in Your Word. It is Your desire that I put all my concerns, cares, and pain into Your hands. Your solutions are always the right solutions. Mine only create more strife. Besides, if I decide to take matters into my own hands, then You must deal with my sinfulness too. Because You love me, my spiritual condition takes priority over what You had planned to do to my enemies. You know that the response of trust happens only when I am yielded to the Holy Spirit and walking in harmony with You. Keep me there that I might trust You in any and every circumstance that puts selfish thoughts of getting even in my heart.
Is the God of the Old Testament different from the God revealed in Jesus Christ? In the Old, He tells His people to destroy their enemies. In the new, Jesus tells us to love our enemies. What am I supposed to think about God as I see this dichotomy?
During the reign of Hezekiah, Sennacherib, king of Assyria attacked the fortified cities in Judah, then set his eyes on Jerusalem. Hezekiah prayed and sent servants to the prophet Isaiah for help. Isaiah told Hezekiah to not be afraid; God would deal with this enemy. He also sent this message to the king:
Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel: Because you have prayed to me concerning Sennacherib king of Assyria, this is the word that the LORD has spoken concerning him: “She despises you, she scorns you — the virgin daughter of Zion; she wags her head behind you — the daughter of Jerusalem.” (Isaiah 37:21–22)
Knowing that God would take care of their enemy, His people became bold and mocked Sennacherib’s threats. This is the usual response of the human heart when “my dad is stronger than your dad” gives confidence in a conflict.
However, when Jesus came He asked for more than the usual response. In His noted Sermon on the Mount, He said . . .
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matthew 5:43–48)
The people in the Old Testament knew that they were supposed to love their neighbor but Jesus takes this command farther. He says that we are to love even our enemies, even those who persecute us. Anyone can love those who are lovable, but it takes the grace of God and the perfection found in Jesus Christ to love those who are set against us.
Still, the question remains. If God wants us to love our enemies, why does He destroy those who are His enemies? This is the wrong question. Instead, I need to ask this: Why does God not destroy all sinners? We shake our fist in His face and sin against Him with great defiance, yet He sends sunshine and rain. He even sent Jesus — to die for our sin!
From this sermon, Jesus makes it clear that no one can be “perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect.” Who is good to the unjust in the same way they are good to good people? Who even wants to be like this? Sin makes us want to retaliate. Our selfish hearts love to mock our enemies, particularly when God puts them down and lifts us up. Loving them is totally foreign to our nature.
Perfection is found only in Jesus Christ. “He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:22–23).
Unless Jesus lives in my heart, I cannot be perfect, never mind perfect from the inside out as this sermon calls for. I might be able to act out some of the things Jesus calls for in an external manner, but eventually the attitude of my heart will come out.
The Old Testament shows God’s wrath on the sinfulness of human beings, even those God called to be His people. While He did tell them to destroy their enemies, it was the sinfulness that consumed these pagans. A just and holy God has every right to judge sin. That He didn’t destroy the Jews remains to be seen.
When Jesus came, He revealed the grace of God, something the Jews did not expect. They expected Him to deal with their enemies (the Romans), but instead He asked them to deal with their own sin — such as their hatred of their enemies. This knocked them on their heels. They were God’s chosen. How could this man say they were sinners in need of mercy? They didn’t want to hear that message from God so they crucified the Messenger.
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Father, Your hatred of sin has never changed. Your love of sinners has not changed either; otherwise You would have destroyed the daughters of Jerusalem for their attitude toward their enemies, the New Testament Jews for their attitude toward the Romans, and me as well – for my bad attitudes and multiplied sins. Instead, throughout history You have offered grace. Grace protected Your people in those days of old when they so often deserved wrath, and grace was revealed fully in Jesus Christ who took Your wrath on my sin and died for it. You are perfect and have not changed. You still hate sin and simply ask me to do the same.
God spoke to me through a dream last night. This does not happen often, nor do I take it lightly.
In my dream, I was teaching a ladies Bible class, but the men in our church came in, which confused me because the Bible has something to say about women teaching men. As I fumbled with what to do, the men were trying to help the women be godly. Then I woke up with something so clearly in my mind that I grabbed a pen and paper. After reading it to my husband, he told me to give him a copy.
This dream reminded me that in the beginning, there was no sin. The man and women were united and in harmony in the garden of Eden. Then sin entered and with it the curse of conflict. God told the woman, “. . . Your desire shall be for (or against) your husband, and he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:16). The words of this verse are translated the next chapter to show that it basically means that sin results in both wanting to be the boss, with the man taking an autocratic ruling position that she resists. In short, sin produces selfishness and a me-first attitude in both men and women.
Think how this plays out in much of the Old Testament. Unless the men obeyed God, women were treated like property. This is most seen in the pagan world, but it happened in the Jewish patriarchal system also. Sin makes people try to rule over one another. Both genders want their way.
New Testament tells how Jesus came to reverse the curse of sin. He died for it, taking our punishment, but also lived to show us a better way. To live that better way, we must yield our lives to Him and be filled with the Holy Spirit.
Ephesians 5 tells how this plays out in the marriage relationship. It tells us that we must, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” Then it says we should, “not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit. . . .”
Being filled with the Spirit manifests itself in several ways, including, “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Our worshipful attitude toward Jesus combined with a Spirit-filled walk wipes out that conflict. Instead of trying to boss one another, we want to meet the needs of others. Again, this cannot be done apart from walking in the Spirit. The old nature wants only its own way.
In that regard, no person can be partly in the Spirit and partly in the flesh at any given moment. We tip over constantly and should be confessing our sins regularly. The best we can hope for is spiritual growth and being Spirit-filled more often than we are filled with our own I-wants. This includes that desire to be the boss in our marriages.
If the ideal of being Spirit-filled happens, then it shows up in many ways, including our marriage relationships. I have shortened and paraphrased from Ephesians 5:15-33 the following . . .
Husbands will love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. They will set them apart and desire them to be the best that they can be (without spot or wrinkle or any such thing so they are holy and without blemish), loving them as their own bodies . . . just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
In other words, the husband relates to his wife as Christ relates to His church, making the marriage relationship a picture or depiction of that larger relationship. “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31-32)
Jesus left heaven to unite Himself with us and care for us. The husband is to care for his wife like Christ cares for the church. This is the ideal. But what about the wife?
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Women don’t like this S word, but we need to think of this in the big picture. When the church follows Christ as it should, that combo is an unstoppable force in the world. Lives are changed. Cultures, societies, even entire nations are transformed. This unit is incredibly powerful. However, just like the man, women also need to be filled with the Holy Spirit to do this. Otherwise, both of us want to lord it over the other and mess up what could be astonishing.
I’m thinking of the negatives now. What is the church like when its people think they are better leaders who know more than Jesus Christ knows? If it were not so serious, it would be laughable. Yet I, as a wife, have often thought that I know more about what to do than my husband. When this is my attitude, I am in the flesh, disobedient — and not filled with the Holy Spirit.
So what do we mere mortals do with failure on one side or the other? What if the wife will not cooperate with a husband’s leadership? For him, the question must be: How does the Lord Jesus Christ deal with a rebellious church? Patience? Love? Gentleness? Intercession? If an iron fist is on the list, is it a last resort? How can a husband still be like Jesus toward a resisting and bossy wife?
And what if the husband is not acting like Jesus Christ at all, but either passive and refusing to lead, or lording it over his wife in tyrannical fashion? Scripture says much about that scenario. I will try to put 1 Peter 2-3 in a nutshell: if he won’t lead or his leadership is dubious, she must determine to be like Jesus, no matter what her spouse does or does not do.
(Jesus) committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. (1 Peter 2:22–23)
If hubby tips over, I must remain upright, trusting God, and I know from experience that no woman can trust God like that unless she is filled with the Holy Spirit.
One woman told me, “I will follow him as soon as he starts acting like Jesus Christ.” Another says, “I will submit as long as I think he is right.” Both have an I-will-rule attitude.
One man said, “I will be passive and not pay any attention to her until she does what I want her to do.” Another says, “This woman will do what I say because I am the head of this home.” Both have an I-will-rule attitude.
We know that sin makes us want to rule over each other. But if we are filled with the Holy Spirit, we will be united to obey our Father and become a powerful instrument to change our world. Sadly, far too often our sinful attitudes make us powerless to obey God. We fail to be salt and light in our world, a world that needs salt and light. We also fail to remember that the battleground is out there, and should never be in our homes and marriages.
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Lord, this is so simple. Either the sinful nature rules, or You do. May You keep me alert to the times that I tip over and stop listening to You. Help me respect my husband — for from him I can learn more about what it means to follow You.
