When I was a child, I had an illness that was
life-threatening. The doctors told my parents that I would die before my 16th
birthday. Because of that, I was sheltered and not given much instruction on
how to live.
Years after proving the doctors wrong, I felt like I was
missing out. I didn’t know how to deal with many issues of life and was
unprepared for things that happened in school and after school. Constantly
feeling like I was flying by the seat of my pants was at first ‘normal’ but
after a while I realized that for me, this was a deeper issue than it was for
my siblings and others. I continually felt as if I had nothing to offer.
During a class at Bible school, when I was already a
grandmother, this verse made an impact on my life. I suddenly became aware that
the way I felt was not as bad as it seemed. In fact, it was good preparation
for a life of following Jesus Christ . . .
Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he has mercy upon us. (Psalm 123:2)
As Chambers says, this verse is a description of entire reliance
upon God. I’d felt like a servant with an empty platter, but realized all God wanted
from me was to wait for Him to fill it, then deliver what He put on it to
others. What a relief!
Of course that emptiness was partly due to being a spoiled
child. My parents thought I would die young and over-compensated by indulgence.
After I became a Christian at age 29, I thought God would do the same. Feeling
empty was not a good motivation for telling God what to give me. I also needed
to realize that God was always the One to decide what I should do. He knew what
I needed to fill my sense of uselessness. I only thought I knew what I needed.
I learned the hard way that the human spirit has this “I
will do it myself” attitude that God calls sin. Feeling empty didn’t fix that;
it only made me try harder, at least for awhile. At the same time, God gave me
a desire to serve Him and do it according to His way, not my way. These also
have been difficult lessons.
In the final analysis, God says I must keep my eyes on Him
— like the servant looks to his Master — and when He fills my empty platter,
that is a mercy; I do not deserve nor can I earn even the least of His
blessings.
2 comments:
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
Dear Lord, there are sometimes that I think that I just blew it royally. I spoke out for you and the response was (in my eyes)…zip…nada….zilch! I end up judging myself and what I said (and did) and most importantly Your abiltity to use even, what I consider, …zip…nada….zilch, to bless Your people and the lost. Then I can either go into a self-righteous mode and blame them or go into a pity party. Help me Lord, that when things don’t go as I expect, to leave the results to You and not to judge what I do not know. Let me never forget that Your Word never returns void no matter how bad I think I have blown it.” In Jesus Name
Hi Darrell,
You may not know this, but Canadian Thanksgiving is in October! So we were in Texas from October 25 to November 8 - and celebrated both, but in between the proper days! Yes, Thanksgiving is always great!
Just a thought for you... whenever we glorify God, He is pleased. It doesn't matter if others "don't get it" because He does, and that is the important thing!
Post a Comment