God’s blessings seemed particularly needed yesterday. I started the day sad because of a family situation, one of those awful things that I cannot do anything about. I grieved. I also prayed. Talking to God seemed a catharsis, but no answers were forthcoming. The sermon at church was about the blind man in John 9 and how Jesus restored his sight. The pastor talked about seeing Jesus both physically and spiritually. I wanted to see Him, in action and in the problems of life, but He seemed far away.
Later in the day, the sadness increased as I felt the weight of many lengthy struggles to be a godly person. I fall so far short. I prayed about my sense of uselessness, partly because I’ve been taken up with studies and not had many opportunities to serve God, and partly because I feel completely inadequate and have not ventured forth.
I’d thought much about His Word to me for
that day, a strong word about loving with His love, not that ‘do not love the
world’ kind of love that is passing away. I pondered about how much of my life
has been wasted on things like that, things that will not last.
Also pressing on my heart was an
awareness of so much need in the world, even in the family of God. I’ve prayed
much and for many of those things, but also wondered how much prayer has been a
waste of words because my heart was not right.
This sounds like the beginning of a
pity-party but it was more like a wake-up, a time to say to the Lord, “Whatever
You wish, God. You are in charge and if You have nothing for me, I must accept
that, and if You do have more for me, I’m so concerned that I will just mess it
up.”
My words are not as poetic as that of the
psalm writers who often spoke to God much like that. I really wasn’t thinking
about them at the time though, only about me and the weight of sadness. I asked
God to speak to me, to give me something about His mind that would bolster my
mind.
God listens. The following are not His
direct words, but they are from His Word. Even though this is a king talking to
his son who would soon be king, I felt like God was saying something to me . .
.
“Then David said to Solomon his son, ‘Be
strong and courageous and do it. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed, for
the Lord God, even my God, is with
you. He will not leave you or forsake you, until all the work for the service
of the house of the Lord is
finished. And behold the divisions of the priests and the Levites for all the
service of the house of God; and with you in all the work will be every willing
man who has skill for any kind of service; also the officers and all the people
will be wholly at your command.’” (1 Chronicles 28:20–21)
Maybe a sad heart hears things. Maybe a
person with a huge capacity for creativity imagines things. Maybe this hit me
like those silly horoscopes (which are not at all from God) that could fit just
about anyone who reads them. Nevertheless, it seemed that God was saying this
to me: “Be strong. Take courage. Don’t let fear run your life or get broken up
over all these trials I’ve put you through. I am with you. I will never leave
you or forsake you until you have finished all the work I have for you. My people
are standing with you and for you. An army of angels watches over you. All you
need to do is speak, and I will hear you and send the help and support you need.”
I know that 1 Chronicles 28:20-21 does
not read exactly like that, but that is what I heard, and I also know that His sheep
hear His voice, and He knows us, and we follow Him. Where else can we go? He
has the words of eternal life.
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