I may be a klutz but God isn’t . . .

People disagree about gender differences, but I’ve noticed that men are often more objective than women. If a man stumbles over a chair, he will say, “Who put that chair in the middle of the room?” If a woman stumbles over the same chair, she will say, “Oh, am I ever clumsy.”

Gender isn’t the only reason that I often blame myself for things that go wrong; sometimes it actually is my fault. In the matter of having children that do not believe in God, I am mixed. I know that I taught them as well as I could at the time, but hindsight clearly sees many failures. I also know that no one comes to Christ unless God is at work in their lives. Apart from the work of the Holy Spirit, it doesn’t matter what I do. Psalm 127 begins with, “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.”

Caught in this tension between my responsibilities and God’s, I can teeter one way or the other. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed that I messed up as a Christian mother. I came to the Lord too late. I didn’t do this. I should have done that. This focus can be spiritually unhealthy.

Other times I look at the promises of God and am assured that He hears my prayers and He will bring them to Himself. This focus can keep me from doing what I ought to do. However, even when I am trusting God and obeying Him, when I cannot see anything happening, or only very small things, that lack of evidence tips me into subjectivity. Yikes, tipping back and forth is not fun.

Every now and then God surprises me concerning this teeter-totter. Today’s reading is from Isaiah 54. (Again, I know that in context this is about Israel, yet the Holy Spirit can use any Scripture to tell me what God is like, and give me comfort and hope.)

Verses 8-13 tell me that yes, I have disobeyed God, and yes, He is using the unbelief in my family to teach me, to refine and purify my life. I accept that even though reading the first part made me feel remorseful. But there is hope too. It says:

“With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment; but with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,” says the Lord, your Redeemer. “For this is like the waters of Noah to Me; for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah would no longer cover the earth, so have I sworn that I would not be angry with you, nor rebuke you. For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but My kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has mercy on you. “O you afflicted one, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems, and lay your foundations with sapphires. I will make your pinnacles of rubies, your gates of crystal, and all your walls of precious stones. All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.”

For a little while God can hide His face from me. As I seek Him, I learn His will and what displeases Him. Any sense of falling short brings confession, repentance, and opportunity to become more like Jesus. God is not angry with my sin because all His wrath was poured out on His Son on the Cross, but He can use the consequences of sin to draw His people closer to Him. Certainly He has done that for me.

At the same time, He promises to never leave me or forsake me. He has blessed me with salvation and all that entails. I have assurance for now and eternity. He even says my life is being built on precious gems, most certainly a figure of speech for the riches that are found in Jesus Christ.

Then verse 13 adds another jewel, another precious promise from God. He will teach my children and give them great peace, a peace that can only refer to that peace that passes understanding, that peace that comes from knowing and trusting Him.

If the salvation and blessing of God on my family depend on my goodness or worthiness, it will never happen. God’s blessing, mercy and grace are about Him, not about me. Being reminded of this again and again keeps me from blaming others for my clumsiness, from focusing on my mistakes, and every now and then keeps me from stumbling over that chair in the first place.