Doubts and Putting out a Fleece

Every summer the Family Bible School committee in our church asks me if I will teach in the Fall. Every year, my immediate response, inside and out, has been “Of course!” but this year, I hesitated.

That inner response confused me. Teaching is my passion. Seeing others discover truth in the Word of God is as exciting to me as finding it myself. But the hesitation was there. My question was, Is this from God, or am I just tired?

I waited, prayed, and after a few weeks of continuing to sense that I should say no, I was still feeling a bit uncertain. At that, I did something I’ve hardly ever done; I put out a fleece to the Lord.

A fleece is a one-time occurrence in the Bible. It happens in the Old Testament. Israel is under oppression from the Midianites. God says to a meek man named Gideon, “The LORD is with you, you mighty man of valor.”

Gideon almost says, “Who me?” yet the Lord tells him, “Go in this might of yours, and you shall save Israel from the hand of the Midianites. Have I not sent you?”

Gideon wasn’t sure he was hearing correctly. His tribe was the “least” and he was the “least” in his family. He wanted to make sure of what he heard before he moved ahead into what seemed a certain disaster.

My devotional reading today puts a positive spin on this kind of doubt. It says (slightly edited, as this older book needs it), “Doubts of (God’s power to save) are to manifestations of (that power) what hunger is to food, nakedness to clothing, a thunderstorm to a shelter, a gallows to a reprieve, and death to a resurrection. These things precede, prepare, and open a way for the other. The first is nothing without the last, nor the last without the first. Thus, next to a testimony of God’s power, the best thing is spiritual doubt. To know we are right is the best thing; to fear we are wrong is the second best. To enjoy the witness of the Spirit is the most blessed thing this side of the grave; to pant after that enjoyment is the next greatest blessing. . . . I am speaking only of spiritual doubts; that is, doubts in a spiritual man, for natural doubts are as far from salvation as natural hopes. For those who believe in God, the path through the valley of Baca is “from strength to strength,” that is, according to the eastern mode of traveling, from one halting-place to another, where wells are dug, and “the rain fills the pools.”

Gideon trusted God and had heard a word of command from God. This is important. I’ve known of people who wanted to do something and put out a fleece to God to confirm their own wants. One was the story of a woman who said to God, “If You want me to leave my husband for this other man, then have three people phone me today.”

This sort of “fleece” is not biblical. Gideon’s fleece was to make sure that he had correctly interpreted the word that he heard. His uncertainty was based on his own sense of inadequacy to hear and to do what God asked, not on what he wanted. In other words, he was not asking God to rubber stamp something he’d already decided.

In fact, he was so unsure, that he actually put out a fleece twice. Judges 6:39-40 describe the second time. “Then Gideon said to God, ‘Do not be angry with me, but let me speak just once more: Let me test, I pray, just once more with the fleece; let it now be dry only on the fleece, but on all the ground let there be dew.’ And God did so that night. It was dry on the fleece only, but there was dew on all the ground.”

My fleece was not literally a hide and the wool of a sheep. Instead, I asked God to verify to me what I was supposed to do. If I was hearing wrong, on a certain day when I was with His people, I wanted Him to have one of them say to me, “What are you teaching this Fall?” This often happens, so it would not be a miraculous thing (like dry where there should be dew), yet I trusted God to control the mouths of His children.

Silence. During that time frame, no one said anything to me at all about upcoming classes, what I would teach, or whether I would teach. I’ve been asked since then, but by then had the certainty of my response. I know that God told me to say no this year.

A few have asked, “Why not?” with some consternation—for I always teach. I’ve tried to imagine what God’s reasons might be, but have no idea. I tell them that He has told me to take a break this year, and I cannot argue with the Boss.