Bug or Butterfly?

Before I opened my Bible this morning, a retired woman, new to the faith and without much to do, called and asked if I wanted to come over and play a board game with her. I was supposed to go to an all-day meeting today, and it was cancelled. A fresh snowfall hides a lot of ice on the streets, so I’m glad for that cancellation. Besides, my husband just came home from a week away, and we were both glad for a good excuse to forget the usual Saturday errands, stay home and be together for the first weekend in a long while.

I’m still a bit astonished at the call. I don’t know this woman other than she took a quilt class from me. She is a bit slow mentally and found sewing too difficult, so I finished her quilt for her. She has been grateful, but other than those conversations and greetings when I see her, we haven’t had any connection.

My husband says she is probably lonely. I am not very good at sustained small talk, but am a whiz at this game. Would I be able to slow down my play (if necessary) and make the experience a good one for her? As I think about all of this, I’m wondering what God wants. Does she have problems? Is this an opportunity? Or a distraction for my already long list of responsibilities?

Instead of getting all tangled up in ‘what-ifs’ I called someone who is discipling this woman and who also knows me well. She said this lady has a large support group besides their mentoring relationships. She also reminded me to check my priorities. Not all opportunities are from the Lord. Not all needs (or wants) are my responsibility to fill.

As I tried to process this perplexing request, I realize I tend to want to ‘fix’ everything that I become aware of instead of waiting on the Lord. I have to remember that I am not the Messiah, and cannot deal with every issue. I sometimes get myself into trouble or overload simply by saying yes when I really should back off.

Today’s reading in God is Enough is about the desire of the flesh to dominate our lives and try to control everything, even try to be ‘spiritual’ and look good in front of others. That is what I see in me. However, Romans 8:7-8 says, “The carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.”

The reading explains that those who are “in the flesh” are not people living in a body, because everyone does that. By the “flesh” or “carnal mind” the Scripture means the sinful nature in humans, that part of my nature that wants all the attention and to do all the stuff. This is that part of me that is dead to God and spiritual things, and only new life in Christ can bring me to spiritual life. Since I have that new life, I’m supposed to consider the old nature as a dead and useless thing.

The devotional author compares it to a caterpillar that dies in order to become a butterfly. Just as the caterpillar cannot live the butterfly life, so also the “flesh,” or carnal nature in us cannot live the spiritual life. I understand the difference, but this morning’s request confused me. What was going on?

The second woman that I talked to clarified it for me. She said, “You know when the Spirit is speaking to you.”

She was reminding me that I know which is the butterfly and which is the caterpillar. As she talked, I realized how my old nature wants to do it all, get all the glory, be the fixer and the center of attention. When that call came to go play a game, my old nature responded, putting the caterpillar into conflict with itself. If I said no, I might miss out on doing some great thing (?), but if I said yes, I might have a very boring day. I, meaning my old nature, didn’t know what to do.

However, as I yielded all that to God, I began to hear His Spirit speaking to me, telling me that He can take care of this lady—I need to take care of what He has already put before me today. This isn’t about whether or not I will go and play a game with whoever asks me—this is about whether or not I will listen to Him and not my creepy, crawly caterpillar.

This was also a strong reminder that in my flesh I cannot make spiritual decisions or live my spiritual life; I need to be in the Spirit all the time, even on a snowy Saturday morning, so if the phone rings, or any other curves get thrown at me, I immediately know what God wants from me—without humming and hawing and having a wrestling match with a great big bug.