Must I Keep going?

Even though God led me to begin this blog, I sometimes wonder about its importance. Before blogging, I had my quiet time with Him each morning and wrote the thoughts that came from doing that. This has not changed, but now I am putting those thoughts into cyberspace. Before, only God knew what they were; now, anyone who reads this knows my spiritual life.

I suppose I’m making myself accountable. Nothing like telling the whole world I need to control my tongue to motivate me to do more than think about it. Besides, some who read this know me personally. Their comments are reminders that I do not live my spiritual life alone or without prayer support and encouragement.

But last week, discouragement and “why bother?” were bugging me. So much more goes on in my life that is evidence of God; I cannot include everything. Some of what I write is more of a study than a direct “Do this today.” Many times I feel like I am just working through a doctrinal issue, not defining the way God is working in my life. And who cares?

Besides that, I’m tired. My plate is full. Family issues can be a pressure. Even leisure activities seem overwhelming, and at times I just want to “run away from home.” So when I sat down to my Bible this morning, I asked God to affirm to me again that this blog is not a huge waste of time.

Anyone who has been reading it knows my history, or rather His history. He promptly answers those prayers, almost always with the daily reading from the devotional book that I am using. Today is no exception, and I knew it as soon as I saw the verse I was supposed to read.

John 20 ends with a short explanation of why John wrote his gospel. Verses 30-31 say, “And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.”

John wrote about his specific experiences with Jesus so others might believe in Him and have eternal life. He presents Jesus as God in human flesh, deity that came to earth to die for us that we might be forgiven of our sins and be regenerated with into life, His life. John’s words have helped me know Jesus and changed my life.

Dare I think my words could change someone else’s life? Not like Scripture can, but could I limit God and say that He cannot use what seems useless to me?

If one person was saved because I quoted a verse from the Bible and God used it to open their eyes, then the hours that I spend writing this blog has eternal significance, even if I never hear about such an event or see it, or am aware of what God is doing. Certainly John never knew, at least not in his lifetime. He just did what he was told, trusting God had good reason for the recording of his words.

Even realizing all this does not overwhelm me. I’m still tired, still have too much to do, and still feel like going back to bed, but my decision to obey is renewed. I will be faithful, and that is all He wants.