This morning’s news tells of a young nurse who pleaded guilty to poisoning several of her co-workers, making them ill. The judge gave her no jail time because she is mentally ill; bipolar.
That put a wee knot in my stomach. We have a bipolar person in our home. She makes her illness her reason for negative behaviors. She also says she feels hostile at times but decides it would be dumb to act hostile. To me, anyone who can pass the buck on only the negatives or decide not to act on their feelings is aware of right and wrong and able to make choices. I don’t know about the nurse, but wonder about the judge’s decision.
The other pressing issue is how do I live with this? What do I do if and when the hostile emotions become negative behaviors directed against me? What if she hears that news story and decides she can do whatever she feels like and there will be no consequences? What if my house becomes a dangerous place to live?
I asked God about that, and this morning’s reading gave me the answer that I already knew. “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. . . . If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:17-21, NKJV).
While I’m not prepared to call our granddaughter an enemy, the real enemy of my soul strives to use her for his purposes and deceive her into thinking she ‘can’t help it’—and me into being angry and getting into a battle. I know that fighting her is futile.
This week’s trials have been punctuated by opportunities to do good. Her surprise at goodness is obvious. She is overwhelmed and seems to wonder why I would do anything for her or anyone else, for that matter. I’ve not been trying to “heap coals of fire” but am aware of being tempted every day by her actions or attitudes. I often feel like retaliating or acting in selfish ways. But God is also convincing me the importance of choosing not to give in, to continue to do good even when I don’t feel like it.
In one sense I agree with the judge. That nurse is a danger to society yet putting her in jail will not ‘fix’ her. She will learn nothing from jail. Instead, she needs care, proper medication (which she was not getting) and the love of God, a love that can overcome evil. Whether she will receive it or not is up to her.
The same is true here. I cannot make anyone be a happy recipient of the love of God. All I can do is persist in doing good and leave the results to Him.
2 comments:
You're facing challenging times, Elsie. I'm sure I'd struggle with the same issues if I were in your shoes. I think I'm doing real well in the sanctification department until the squeeze comes - and then, oh dear, the truth is out!
Thank you. God is good and He sure knows how to keep me looking at Him!
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