With all my Heart

While reading Steven Charnock, I feel exposed and undone. His chapter on practical atheism is convicting. At the same time, there is relief to realize my struggles with sin are typical of all human beings. We all fall short. At the same time, there is hope. But first the bad news.

Charnock talks about the way contempt for God shows up in being slow to volunteer. We eagerly jump at things we want to do, but when a call to obey God meets our ears, how often do we say, “I’ll do it if no one else will”?

Then, when we take on whatever it is, we are not wholehearted about it. God wants our best, yet do we give Him the same vigor and liveliness we display at sporting events? Or the same enthusiasm and zest we have for new trinkets?

Contempt for God shows in inattention too. I can be easily distracted in my duties, struggle to remain in prayer, worship, or ministry that lasts even one hour. How ready I am to do almost anything else, but fall asleep in prayer, become dull of mind during the sermon, or discontent with some aspect or other of serving Him. I can laugh and play games all evening with family and friends but cannot give God the same joyful attention for half that time.

An employee who grows weary of his work is also quick to be weary of the authority that gave him his employment. Am I like that with the God who gives me life and breath? If I really love God I would serve Him with great zeal, not be as those Isaiah 43:22 describes: “But you have not called upon Me, O Jacob; And you have been weary of Me, O Israel.”

Distracted is my middle name. The older I get the more quickly I tire of doing things. But I should never be distracted away from loving God or get tired of serving Him. He wants my best — and I must give Him nothing less. Yet as Charnock says, the tendency to do otherwise is there, and I must reckon with it. The only way I know how is to bring this ugly part of me to God, ask His forgiveness, trust Him to cleanse me and continue to work in me, and keep my eyes on Jesus — who was never was guilty of half-hearted devotion. This is my goal, and God’s goal for me, to be like Jesus.