Weep with those who weep

Compassion is not my strong suit. I don’t do well comforting suffering people. I’m a teacher and would rather figure out why a person is suffering, then recommend what they need to do about it.
Intellectually, I know this is not very kind. I try to put myself in their shoes, feel their confusion and pain, but even if I have “been there, done that” pain is easy to forget. God made us that way, and who really wants to remember it anyway?
Compassion is difficult for me. I also have to watch that I’m not like Job’s friends. Poor Job knew that his calamities were not punishment for some sin, but he did not understand (and God was not telling him) the actual reason all those things were happening to him. His so-called friends were also perplexed, but rather than wrestle the question with Job or comfort him, they came up with answers that made sense to them. They assumed Job was lying about his spiritual state and must be covering up some sin. After all, God does not do things without reason.
I can also approach sufferers from the position of one who is not suffering and proud that God has ‘blessed’ me. I can be like Elihu, who claimed, “My words come from my upright heart; my lips utter pure knowledge. . . . I am pure, without transgression; I am innocent, and there is no iniquity in me.” He put words in Job’s mouth and thought if he would just repent, everything would be okay. This is pure arrogance.
God often reminds me that I cannot make assumptions about His actions by reminding me of His greatness. Whenever someone suffers (myself included) I can simply trust Him. Like Job, I may never know His reasons for suffering, but this God who has saved me is also worthy of my trust, no matter what is going on. That is what I need to tell others who are in pain: God is in charge. He loves us — and already proved it by sending His Son to die for us. His ways are not our ways, He is working things together for good to those who love Him back. During the storms of life, rather than lash out at Him with “why,” we can cling to Him for comfort and strength.