God is in the chaos

The human idea of peace is that it must be outward before it can be inward, that all conflict and problems must be solved before we can feel okay. But the Lord’s idea is an inner peace that can exist in the midst of turmoil and can be triumphant over it.

Jesus is peace. He is in control of what happens in my life and His intentions for me are good. He tells me that I can have joy in trials:

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2–4)

Right now, most of my ‘trials’ are heavy burdens that others carry or thing happening to other people that make me feel pain for them. Personally, my trials are nothing compared to most of them, yet when my stomach churns over these and personal issues, I need to remember where my peace and joy come from. When life is not going well (or even when it is) Jesus tells me to abide in Him.

I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. (John 15:1–11)

Abiding is sticking with Jesus, remaining in a mindset of trust. As always, trust is hand in hand with obedience. I’m to do what He says, even when circumstances are screaming at me and life is very challenging. He gives me something to do also:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)

PRAY: Jesus, getting older brings challenges, questions of how much time do I have, what are the most important things on that never-ending to-do list, who and what to pray for, and how can I deal with a myriad of distractions? Lots of ideas, days not long enough, many responsibilities, a sense of nothing being important and everything being important. Today, this over-burdened mind needs rest, but You know best what I need, so I will lay it all at Your feet and take You up on that offer of peace that passes all understanding. Please guard my heart and mind today. Grant clear direction and that amazing sense of You being with me in the chaos of life this day.

Leaving the answers with God

 

There are two kinds of spiritual battles. One is a battle in prayer against the lies and purposes of my enemy the devil. The other is wrestling against God over something He wants and I don’t. The first is a battle of faith for the right ends. The second is a battle of “not Your will, but mine” which is contrary to faith and to my heart that trusts God to desire the best for me.

This second war is not always about a lack of faith. I know the power of God and that He can do all things, and I am not doubting that; I just don’t want the tough stuff. I have a friend who is very old, very sick and I do not want her to die, yet when I pray I know that I must trust God to do His perfect will in her life. He knows the best time to take her home; I don’t. This is just a small spat. There are others that are filled with turmoil. Again, these disagreements with God are not about doubts but about the I-wants that seem contrary to what He is doing. I trust His judgement but at times do not like it.

Concerning this wrestling match, today’s reading brings up the example of Jacob.

And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.” The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. Therefore to this day the people of Israel do not eat the sinew of the thigh that is on the hip socket, because he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip on the sinew of the thigh. (Genesis 32:24–32)

Jacob’s victory was not in wrestling but in becoming weak to the point that he was unable to continue. It was not Jacob who wrestled with the angel but the angel who wrestled with Jacob. Jacob was the one to be overcome. When the angel found that Jacob’s resistance was so great that he could not prevail against him, he was obliged to make him lame by putting his hip out of joint. Then the victory was won. Jacob gained power when he lost it; he conquered when he could no longer fight.

I can relate to this. The Lord wrestles with me to bring me to entire dependence on Him. I resist until I feel totally helpless and have to give up. As much as I am stubborn and hate to lose, He is teaching me what has become a very important lesson:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9–10)

 PRAY: Yielding to Your will has shown up as a bonus in so many ways. This move is only one. In surrendering my I-wants, You keep surprising me with better than I could have imagined. This brings to mind all the prayer requests that I make in deep conviction that the only possible answer is what I come up with — and many times praying seems like a wrestling match with You, not with the enemy and not putting my desires on the mat. You remind me again that giving up isn’t about ceasing to want You to act, but about ceasing to insist that the answers fit with my ideas of what You should do. In other words, I don’t need to let go of You, but only need to ask for a blessing and be totally surprised at what You do about the burdens on my heart.

God does not require my permission

Today’s reading is another ‘finger shaking’ admonishment to let the Lord take care of me, as if He does not do this without my permission. Three examples from this week alone are related to problems regarding our new home that needed fixing. The first was with a furnace and the ‘expert’ said we needed to get a new one or spend several hundred dollars to fix it. The next person came to do something else, looked at the furnace and fixed it, adding it was a superior model and should last for another decade.

The second was a tap that ran only cold water, nothing on the hot side. The plumber wanted over $300 to fix it. The same worker who fixed the furnace fixed that problem too — without charge and in less than five minutes. I said, “You don’t have wings but you are an angel.”

The third issue was a crooked appliance we could not fix. My love of geometry felt annoyance every time I looked at it. A bathroom renovator came to make an estimate on another project and I asked him to add “straighten this fixture” to the list. He laughed, and immediately did it, no charge.

Since I believe God is involved in all things, I called him an angel too and thanked the Lord for being in the details and looking out for us — without a prayer for help or even thinking “I must turn to God with this issue.” So when someone tells me “we are very slow to learn this. When temptations come, instead of handing the battle over to the Lord we summon all our forces to fight them ourselves. We believe, perhaps, that the Lord is somewhere near, and if the worst comes to worst, He will step in to help us. But for the most part we feel that we ourselves and we only must do all the fighting” I feel a bit insulted, yet mostly that God is being insulted. He promises to take care of us, knows all things, knows our needs, and is not standing over me with baited breath waiting for my “Go for it” as if I am in charge of His life and He needs my permission for anything.

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” (Exodus 14:14)

I began life with Him by the power of His Spirit, yet like the church in Galatia, this is not to say that I’ve never tried to fight my own battles without thought that God would help me or that I must now rely on the flesh, as if I’m saved by grace but now must live by works. This is the posture of many Christians. We have a proud streak and like children we think, “I can do this myself.” Or we don’t know much about God and His care so assume we need to take care of all problems ourselves.

However, when someone else is trying to change that fleshy thinking, a finger-shaking accusation is seldom appropriate or helpful. Some need a gentle reminder of God’s love and trustworthiness. Most need encouragement rather than a strong rebuke. Not every Christian is so full of themselves and their own ability that they will turn down God’s help.

The other issue is being blamed that God is not helping because I won’t let Him. Really? How long does it take to learn that I don’t rule God? Not long. My will be done not Your will? Do any Christians pray that way? Maybe telling God what to do rather than accepting what He is doing borders on such thinking, yet only when He allows strong calamities to teach me that I cannot run my own life. I want to be comfortable, but He knows what I need.

Refusals to yield to His care suggest that such resistance is coming from someone who does not know Him at all. How can we think that the One who died for all our sin before we even knew He cared, is now unable to care about any other problem we have so we must take care of them ourselves?

PRAY: Jesus, human pride has to be at the root of such ideas, and thinking everyone struggles in resistance to Your help seems to be rooted in some idea that we control what You do for us, as if You have buttons we can push. This spells an ignorance of who we are, but even more, an oblivion to who You are. You are God and I am not. I don’t keep all my promises and I don’t control much of anything. I get involved in the world, sometimes find an appeal in Satan’s lies, and my old human nature is wrong all the time. None of that is true of You. You, like a parent, help me when I am dragging my childish heels in resistance. You died for me while I was still a sinner and You live for me every moment, every day doing things to help me know You and live for You. Whether I am being ornery or being obedient — You are God.

Oblivious to the obvious

Years ago someone asked, “If money, education, or any other circumstance was not an issue, what would you like to do with your life?” My selfish ambition gave what I thought was a noble response: “I would like to start a Bible school.” I later found out that several prominent schools had begun because of a woman, so that justified my ambition. At the time, I didn’t consider the will of God nor what changes my life needed to make that ambition happen.

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something. And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?” They said to him, “We are able.” (Matthew 20:20–22)

These two boys didn’t realize it either, nor did their mother. It didn’t matter what they thought of themselves. The reality was that their present lives contradicted what they asked for and they seemed oblivious to the obvious, just as I was in the same state of oblivion about my ambition.

Eventually they figured it out, just as God opened my understanding to the difference between such ambition and the humility required — plus a great many other character qualities and learning experiences. Another Christian servant and a half-brother of Jesus wrote this:

Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. (James 3:13–18)

Sometimes I feel the pull of selfish ambition just by wondering why God didn’t give me much in the arena of important work, or at least how I would define important. This passage always convicts me. The description “earthly, unspiritual, demonic” puts me in my place. God isn’t looking for people who want to set the world on fire, or make headlines, or even do outstanding things. He wants an entirely different list of accomplishments — none that can be obtained by my efforts.

First, some self-examination. How am I like James and John? How do my words, attitudes, and choices contradict the very gospel that I love and defend? Am I impatient with people? Do I talk unkindly about others? How could I lead an educational institution if I was not able to live up to the principles that would govern the curriculum? What would my staff do with my weak faith or my  rudeness, or insincerity, or my irritability with them or others?

PRAY: Jesus, You are my patient teacher. To lead others requires far more gifts and a deeper character than I have. I’m just grateful to be in your classroom, gifted with your righteousness, and secure because of Your grace. Each time I eat the bread and drink the cup, You remind me of Your death and that I am united to your life. You call me to your likeness and I’ve no right to be upset over anyone’s sin but my own. Keep working to make me less oblivious to my obvious need for your transforming grace and change all my ambitions to the most important one — that I will always listen to You and obey what You say.

When “believers” stray…

 

When I was a new Christian, I attended a church for a while that taught the opposite of what I believed. They had the idea that a person willed to believe and could do the opposite and ‘unwill’ it and lose their salvation. They pointed to texts in Scripture that seemed to say that, often taking them out of context.

One verse says: “For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end” (Hebrews 3:14) and seems to put the onus on us to hang in there. In light of many other verses, I read it as saying that the mark of true faith was being firmly confident to the end.

These days my prayer list includes several young people that might be called prodigals. They started out in a Christian family, going to church, professing faith, but as they grew older, they walked away. Perhaps their faith was a choice, something like today’s reading suggests:

“Just take your childhood Psalm and say, ‘This is my Psalm, and I am going to believe it. I have always known it by heart, but it has never meant much to me. But now I have made up my mind to believe that the Lord really is my Shepherd and that He will care for me as a shepherd cares for his sheep. I will not question it again.’ ”

The problem is that this is not a good description of saving faith. The Bible says:

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)
So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ. (Romans 10:17)
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8–9)
And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. (John 17:3)

As Jesus said, saving faith is a relationship. It is also a gift that comes through hearing God speak and gives deep assurance and a conviction of truth without being able to ‘see’ it. In other words, if my mom or anyone else told me what I should believe, spelled it out, gave me verses to read, but God did not apply them to my heart and I did not hear Him speak, then this ‘faith’ was learned, not the same as the gift that changed my life.

Sometimes those with that kind of ‘learned faith’ stay in the church, think they are a believer, do good things, but their faith is not what Jesus said it should be:

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’ (Matthew 7:21–23)

A friend says that true faith knows Jesus and this results in them beginning to be like Him. That changed life is evidence that God has been at work. Paul said: “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)

Genuine faith, given by God, is a done deal. Once changed, I will never be unchanged. How can ‘eternal’ be temporary? How can the promises of God be turned back? Not by any doubts I might have, for if have such a problem. He simply does things to show me the reality of His grace and saving power.

My prayers for these ‘prodigals’ is not that they get sick of eating pig food (though that might help), but that they hear the voice of Christ, that He will speak grace to them and they will be offered His gift and accept it. Some do but let doubts move them from the congregation, but if they are God’s, He will finish what He started and bring them back. Some do not. They only heard people telling them what they should believe and do, not Jesus. They need to hear Him and know Him, not dogma and doctrine or they will not come back.

PRAY: Lord, You know hearts. I don’t, but I do know that Your firm foundation stands, bearing this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His” (2 Timothy 2:19) and that You want no one to perish. Bring the stragglers home to Your great heart and help me to show them the love that also brought me to You and forever keeps me close.

What do we really need?

In last night’s group Bible study, the prayer requests brought sadness to our hearts. One friend just recovered from a fall with many broken bones only to be told her cancer had returned — and that her husband has stage four cancer. Three families have lost a wife, mom, sister, or parent. Relatives are in hospital with serious ailments. New immigrants struggle to find jobs and are needy. One couple is facing several challenges in serving Christ. Three young people in our church struggle with autism.

I felt odd to be the only one in our group with no physical problems. Not only that, the speaker in a video we watched said, “God brings trials into our lives for a purpose and when that purpose is accomplished, He removes the trial.” Most of the praying involved requests to remove the trials.

One topic of discussion involved reasons why people do not want to hear the gospel. We agreed that the main human goal is to be comfortable, and yet was that not our focus in praying for those whose lives are filled with trials? I face some, yet God keeps blessing me with verses like this:

I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. (Jeremiah 32:40)

He has shown me that my trials are to teach me that He is God and I am not. If I cannot see what He is doing in the trial, He at least gives me a mysterious ability to accept it as His will and trust Him to use it for my good:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. (Romans 8:28–29)

My friends around the table verbally agree, yet what they really want is the trial to  go away and for all those on our list of needy people to be happy and comfortable. For me, being happy and comfortable in the trials made me feel almost like survivor’s guilt. At the same time, I wanted everyone to deeply trust the Lord to the point that their trial was a source of peace rather than something to get rid of.

Many times Jesus did things for the troubled. He made water into wine when the wine ran out at a wedding. He raised to life the son of a grieving mother. He forgive the sin of an accused woman. He healed infirmities and gave sight to the blind… all this to show that He was doing the will of God. That is, God is not a meanie, yet for Him my holiness is more important than my comfort. He did make it a priority:

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:31–33)

As His child, I’m to want what He wants. The Scriptures make it clear that being like Jesus is His goal for me and since I’m not like Jesus in so many ways, I’m to be willing to accept whatever He uses to accomplish that goal.

So why then did Jesus heal and help the needy like He did then, and yet now uses suffering for that purpose rather than remove it? Jesus did say that “the works that the Father has given me to accomplish, the very works that I am doing, bear witness about me that the Father has sent me.” (John 5:36) In that time, He healed to show He was sent by God. Now, He uses the trials to build faith and to give us opportunity to show others that He makes it possible for His followers to be transformed by hardship.

God designed salvation’s plan. He is the only one who can open eyes to see the mysteries of Christ in it, to help us realize that “we, being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve him without fear.” (Luke 1:74) and to also know that even thought His righteousness gives us a title to heaven; there must be a holiness to make us fit for heaven.

PRAY: Jesus, only You know why some suffer as they do, and what You want to accomplish in their lives. I don’t. I don’t always understand Your purposes for my own trials. This issue is not asking You to remove them, but to use them for Your purposes, and to totally trust You with the trials You bring into my life and the lives of others.

Joy in listening for the next thing…

 

Years ago a friend and I attended a women’s conference featuring a well-known Christian missionary and author as the main speaker. At lunchtime, I suggested to my friend that we sit at an empty table and see who joined us. Long story short, that speaker sat at our table.

During lively conversation, someone asked her how she managed to get so much done in her busy life. She replied, “I just do the next thing — and I alway know what it is.”

This response told me that she also listened to the Holy Spirit for His instruction. From personal experience, I know that my old nature is not always that clear about what to do next. I can be easily confused or distracted, but when the Spirit is in charge, then her words made complete sense.

Today’s reading agrees. It says my part is simple; all I need to do is trust the Lord and follow what He says. He decides my day — when I wake up, the interruptions and interaction with others, who calls, and so on. I don’t have to plan.

However, this is not 100% for there are times when the “next thing” is planning. This move is one example. With so many boxes to unpack and decisions to make about what to keep and what to pass along, we didn’t sleep well. Too much on our minds. The Spirit gave me a solution: every night, write a plan for the next day, including regular activities such as worship, devotions and prayer, exercise, and even a menu for supper. It works. I know tomorrow before my head hits the pillow and do not need to stew about it then or when I wake in the middle of the night.

This is not the same as ‘taking matters into my own hands’ because doing this happens with a listening ear. Even though the Lord usually leads me with one step at a time, for this problem in life, He takes me ahead so I can rest. What a lovely Shepherd. I can rest in His plan and get things done without stressing over what is not yet done. There is no fear in following the leading of Jesus, for He is just as the psalmist wrote:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalm 23:1–6)

This beloved psalm is often repeated yet living it provides a great experience. It uses words like not wanting and lying down, being restored, glorifying Him by righeous living, no fear even of death, being with me, being comforted by His protection and correction, overflowing blessing, goodness and mercy, and being with Him always. And most of all, finding these things true as I listen and do the next thing. His leading and control of my life is a blessing almost beyond description. With Him:

Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the Lord, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.” (Isaiah 55:13)
Then shall the lame man leap like a deer, and the tongue of the mute sing for joy. For waters break forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert…. And the ransomed of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away. (Isaiah 35:6; 10)

PRAY: Lord, these days have been physically exhausting, yet rest for my soul. You know how to get things done without stress or feeling as if the burden is too great. With so much to do, I’d normally be anxious, yet listening to You for “the next thing” has deeply made a difference. I look around me at the order appearing out of chaos and bless Your wisdom and grace for allowing me to trust and follow You, and to do it with joy. Thank You.