Today’s reading includes this thought: words are windows that give others a glimpse of what I think about myself. The verses that supposedly prompted it come from Ephesians 5.
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. (Ephesians 5:3–4, NIV)
It is sometimes said of sermons, “great sermon, wrong text,” but I’m not about to fault the quote for having little to do with these verses. It is still true. Jesus said “Those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart” (Matthew 15:18–19). Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”
Putting the two verses together, my words do reveal my heart and what I think about, particularly what I think about myself. If I think too highly of myself that is what my words will convey. If I am a humble person who realizes that all goodness comes from the grace of God, my words will convey that.
Sometimes I listen to myself talk far too much about me, or my interests. Part of the problem is that this is the easiest form of conversation. I know the topic well and don’t have to think very hard to say anything. Yet this is not like Jesus. Talking about me might be okay at times, but for the most part it is simply selfishness. Philippians 2 challenges me with this,
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant. . . . (Philippians 2:3–7)
Jesus rightly considered His own interests — God sent Him to do the most important thing ever done and He needed to keep His focus on that mission. However, as He did fulfilled His mission, He did it in the interests of others. Although Hebrews 12:2 says that “for the joy set before Him, He endured the cross,” Jesus didn’t die for the joy that would come afterward, but for us. There is no self-centeredness in Jesus Christ.
To live is Christ means to have that same attitude. Certainly it is not there if I open my mouth and out comes the foolish talk spoken of in Ephesians 5. However, it is just as much not there if all I ever talk about is me and my own interests. How I talk reveals what I think — and right now silence seems very appealing.
Now I know why I am uncomfortable with playful banter; the Bible says it is not appropriate behavior for Christians.
This is a surprise in some ways. The passage this comes from isn’t usually translated that way. Instead, the Greek word is put into English as foolish talking, a phrase wide open to all sorts of interpretations. However, the actual word is not about humorous insults (which is easy to see as inappropriate), but refined light mockery or banter, that doesn’t seem so bad.
But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them. (Ephesians 5:3-7, italics mine)
I’ve no argument with this passage, but as I read it today it seemed that “foolish talking and coarse jesting” needed more definition. With some research, I learned some new words and a little history. For one thing, the city of Ephesus had a reputation. Its people were “well-turned” or ready at repartee, also known as “jocose” and “persiflage” and “badinage” all words meaning witty conversation. In Ephesus, this was far from being censured; in fact, the Ephesians thought such banter was a pleasant accomplishment.
The Greek word translated “coarse jesting” is eutrapelia and found nowhere else in the New Testament. The commentaries say this word implies a particular versatility which turns about and adapts itself, without regard to principle, to the shifting circumstances of the moment, and to the varying moods of those with whom it may deal. In other words, it is speaking according to the world, not according to the Spirit and principles of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Colossians 3:8 uses a different word, but it conveys the same idea that “filthy communication” and “foolish talking” are a false refinement. These words describe conversations that are seasoned with a selfish, “look at how clever I am” attitude. Christians are not to talk like that. Instead, our words are to be seasoned with grace.
In Ephesians 5, God challenges me to imitate God and love others as Christ loved me. The love of Christ is forgiving, unconditional, and self-sacrificing, not shallow, selfish, sensual, sexual, or attention-getting. Witty conversation has nothing in it that reflects the love of God.
Verse four forbids foolish talk and witty banter, but offers an alternative — giving thanks. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Today’s devotional says, “When we are thankful for everything, we step outside ourselves, because thanksgiving is directed toward God.”
My husband doesn’t like playful repartee either because in his world it is often peppered with swearing. He finds that being thankful helps him in several ways, but also has an interesting effect on the conversation around him. People either turn from their jesting and swearing and offer more thoughtful and thankful comments, or they are so annoyed that they walk away.
Today’s last lesson in word meanings says that “rather giving of thanks” is a joyful play on sounds in Greek. The word is “eucharistia” and is contrasted with “eutrapelia.” While refined “jesting” and subtle humor sometimes offend tender feelings, “giving of thanks” offers a genuine cheerfulness of spirit. For me, it is a wonderful alternative to any good feeling that comes from light banter and I need to practice thankfulness much more than I do.
One other thought; God does not forbid fun. He is the author of joy, but warns me that this empty chatter puts self on a pedestal and could offend others. Talking this way is foreign to the nature of His Son. Even though I suspect practicing thankfulness instead of witty banter could result in having labels slapped on me by those who consider such repartee is an accomplishment, I would rather be like Jesus.