Some parties are no fun at all . . .

I was sad all of yesterday. First a large photo in the newspaper caught my attention. It was a distinguished looking man with a nice smile, but when I read the story, he turned out to be an accused rapist. How deceptive outward appearance can be and why give that much space to him?

Then a news story on an Internet site for quilters shocked me. A young designer whose work has caught my attention is suddenly dead. She was sick, but I didn’t know that. I didn’t know her personally, but for some reason her death shouted how brief life is and how quickly it can be lost. I grieve for her and for the shortness and unpredictability of life.

On a more personal level, a project I was excited about suddenly became difficult, even seeming impossible. I wasted a couple of hours struggling with it and wound up feeling sorry for myself. Pity party.

Besides those, I did yoga and Pilates for the first time in years, and was sore, and at each meal I ate the wrong food and too much of it. By bedtime, I felt like a balloon — filled with aches and pains. More pity party.

Sitting before the Word of God this morning, I asked Him to clarify my thoughts. As I read these verses, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart: “Get your focus back on Jesus” . . .

“By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.” (1 John 4:13–15)

Jesus is the Savior of the world, and my Savior. I confess this is true; and He is the Son of God. He lives in me and I in Him. I have the Holy Spirit who gives me the assurance of these things.

From John 3:11-21, the Spirit clarified some of the stuff that bothered me yesterday with several realities . . .

The world lies in sin. “We know that we are from God, and the whole world lies in the power of the evil one.” (1 John 5:19) I should not be surprised when those least likely are caught doing despicable things. In the eyes of God, all are guilty. We need a Savior.

The wages of sin is death and death is often a surprise. How important it is to know Jesus as Savior and abide in Him. I don’t know the quilter who died. She may have been a Christian who has eternal life. However, from what God says, she illustrates the reality that everyone is appointed once to die, and after that there is a judgment. (Hebrews 9:27)

God sent Jesus to free sinners (me) from judgment. “God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.” (John 3:16-20)

Other passages address my self-pity. Most of them are a slap on the wrist, such as . . .

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:4–8)

He also reminded me that “I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13) and that “God is able to make all grace abound to (me), so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, (I) may abound in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:8)

Jesus, how can I whine when You, the God who created all things, lives in my heart, meets all of my needs, and has given me eternal life? My sinfulness is still powerful and reminds me how deeply I need You as my Savior and Lord, and how keeping my mind on You prevents me from going to those sad pity parties.

Sharing suffering . . .

Paul lists all the qualities and privileges in his life that he could have placed his confidence in to impress God. He was a respected and zealous Pharisee living a ‘blameless’ life. However, after his encounter with Christ the source of his confidence changed . . .

“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.” (Philippians 3:8–11)

Notice in this statement that Paul’s desire and goal was to know Christ, to be like Him so that whatever Christ experienced, he also experienced. He wanted to share His righteousness, His powerful life, His sufferings, and even His death knowing that Christ was the only way to live eternally.

Not too long ago, I was having a pity-party. A few disappointments had me feeling sorry for myself. However, the Lord took hold of me and reminded me that He suffered the same disappointment over and over again. The way others behave landed on Him to the point that He died for all that sin. He told me that He knew exactly how I felt, and invited me to share in His sufferings.

At this, a great weight lifted; His words had a profound effect. Instead of feeling sorry for me, I immediately focused on Him and on the privilege of knowing Him in a deeper way. I do not suffer alone but am yoked with my Savior. I know that He carries the load and being beside Him is a joy unspeakable, certainly not something to whine about.

Chambers talks about realizing Jesus in all that we do, whether eating or drinking, or washing the disciples’ feet. Realizing He is carrying my painful loads makes a difference no matter what they are. I am yoked with Him, yet He is carrying the whole load. Not only that, by His amazing grace, those sorrows become joy-filled.

Oh Lord, increase my faith . . .

Before his death, Paul is writing to a young pastor. Many who read this letter are not pastors, and may not be young. However, Timothy seems one of those people who need continual encouragement, and most of us can identify with that need. Here is what Paul says to him:

I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. (2 Timothy 4:1–6)

I can relate to these verses even though the only ‘preaching’ I do is reading the Bible and making exhortation to myself, plus the occasional word in conversation with someone who needs to hear what God says. Rather than ‘preaching’ this could be a mild rebuke, cheerful exhortation, or a bit of teaching. Paul’s warning about a time when people will not endure sound teaching has already come. Many relatives and friends turn away from Jesus and follow stuff that sounds good, but is neither biblical nor a blessing to their spiritual lives.

Paul told Timothy to be sober-minded. This could be ‘not drunk’ but more likely is about thinking with self-control, not giving in to excesses or emotional outbursts. He is talking about being level-headed without inordinate passions. I need to hear that too.

Paul also told this young pastor to endure suffering. This can mean physical or emotional pain, and in this context, to keep on doing the will of God no matter how others might be treating you.

Finally, Paul told Timothy to do his job. In his case, it was evangelism. He was to fully perform his role in in ministry to others. No matter what our role is, this also applies to any Christian. God gives each of us something to do. No matter any resistance or emotions it causes, or any suffering it might incur, I am to fully obey God – even as it might mean being poured out like the blood of Christ, a life literally poured out to serve others.

Chambers talks about this as a challenge, a decision of the will to trust God and to yield to Him as He does this work in me, the process of destroying “every affinity that God has not started and of every attachment that is not an attachment in God.” He says that I do not destroy it, God does, and that I simply bind the sacrifice to the horns of the altar and do not give way to self-pity when His cleansing fire begins.

I know this. God has used remarkable events to deal with “affinities” that did not come from Him. He has used situations, people, events that I would never have chosen or even thought of to bring me to a place of greater willingness. He knows how to fill me with the desire for a sober mind. He knows how to give me an attitude that will endure pain and loss and simply to do what He places before me. I’m not a pastor or an evangelist like Timothy, but I have a role and that role includes being poured out to serve others.

Like Timothy, I need to watch out for self-pity, but also pride. I also need encouragement. For these needs, I must trust my Savior to save me from the first two, and to provide the third one as He sees fit.

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Family news: Hubby is getting stronger. He actually lost 20 lbs, not 15, so I’m feeding him lots of protein – and pie. He went for a short drive today, just to get outside.

Another person in our family just had surgery. It was a best case scenario – no cancer. We rejoice at the merciful goodness of the Lord.

Pity-parties

This morning I’m having a pity-party. My current course is not difficult, but putting my seat in the chair is becoming increasingly difficult. I’ve not a lot of time to spend with other people. My hubby is in great demand at work, which is taking most of his energy. I’ve no sense of “what next” or even if there is a “next” after I graduate in May. There are still four courses to go and that seems mountainous. I’m having dreams I’d rather not have, and am struggle with temptation to just do something other than take care of daily responsibilities. This is not burn-out; it feels more like rebellion.

Then I read about Paul. He told Timothy to be faithful at his task for the time would come when no one would listen to him. He said of himself that he was being “poured out as a drink offering” (that does not sound like fun) and that “the time of my departure has come.” He had “fought the good fight . . . finished the race . . .  kept the faith” and looked forward to “the crown of righteousness” the Lord would award to him and to all who “loved his appearing.”

At this late stage of his life, he kept going, more concerned about the lives of others than his own. He had been imprisoned, harmed by others, and abandoned. He said, “At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.” (2 Timothy 4:1–18)

From this short account, I see things about Paul that kept him from having pity parties. He was a trooper who kept to the task, no matter what, because he . . .

·      Realized God’s timing for his work was important

·      Was willing to give of himself right to the end of his life

·      Had no desire to lose the battle so kept moving forward

·      Kept his eyes on the finish line

·      Trusted Jesus every step of the way

·      Thought about his eternal rewards

·      Looked forward to seeing Jesus

·      Did not resent those who had abandoned him

·      Recognized that the Lord was always with him

·      Drew on the Lord’s strength, not his own

·      Considered that sharing the Gospel with others was more important than anything else

·      Knew that his real enemy was Satan (who is like a roaring lion), not people

·      Knew that the Lord would rescue him from all evil

·      Was confident about his eternal destiny

·      Was determined to glorify the Lord and not himself

My challenges are paltry compared to Paul’s, but I worship and serve the same God. The Lord’s timing, trustworthiness, and promises are the same for me as they are for anyone else He has brought into His family and given a task. He is with me. My enemy is not flesh and blood, or even my own attitude. It is that evil and stealthy lion who is trying to devour me.

But the same Savior who stood by Paul also stands by me. He will rescue me from my inward thinking and my reluctance to keep on. This task is for His glory, not for my comfort, so I need to put my eyes on Him and stop feeling sorry for myself.

Leaning lightly on my friends

Yesterday was a long day of study, reading dense material and listening to lectures. I was feeling sorry for myself, complaining to God that I missed the encouragement that I needed, particularly from Christian friends that we didn’t see during our recent month-long holiday. I went to bed feeling discouraged and woke up the same way.

God amazes me with His timing. Today’s devotional is about leaning lightly on my Christian group of friends. It says, “Enjoy the group but don’t become over-dependent on it. Watch that it doesn’t become an idol, for you will find (if you haven’t already found) that it has feet of clay . . . never forget that God and God alone is the One who will never let you down.”

In the New Testament, Paul wrote to the church at Corinth about this problem. They had put certain people on pedestals to the point that they divided over it . . .

For it has been reported to me . . . that there is quarreling among you, my brothers. What I mean is that each one of you says, “I follow Paul,” or “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Cephas,” or “I follow Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? (1 Corinthians 1:11–17)

While it is not wrong to put Christ on a pedestal, they were doing this to elevate themselves, not to glorify God. I can relate to that. I’ve talked about my group of friends with that same motivation; “Look at me and how well off I am to know these people . . .”

The rest of the devotional reading points out that this is another subtle form of idolatry. I am to “lean lightly” on my church, denomination, the small group that we attend, the ladies in the study group that I lead, and my Christian friends who are a blessing. I can become addicted to their supply and forget that it is God who supplies all that I need.

As for that wretched self-pity, this same devotional reading addresses this also. As I was feeling sorry for poor me, God directed me to this . . .

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. (Hebrews 12:1–4)

What could be more direct! Besides this, the rest of the passage addressed my reason for self-pity. I have struggled with a certain issue for a long time and God has been disciplining me. Great victories have been won as He shows me the parts of my heart and thinking that need His touch. Yesterday, I became weary of the struggle and tired of the discipline. I just wanted it to be finished. But He said . . .

 . . .  Do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. (Hebrews 12:5–13)

He didn’t leave me with just that directive, but took me to three more passages of encouragement. The first one was after Moses died and Joshua was told to take God’s people into the land He had promised them. He said, “Moses my servant is dead. Now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, into the land that I am giving to them . . .  No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you. Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them” (Joshua 1:1–6).

The second was in David’s words to his son Solomon, “Be strong and courageous and do it. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed, for the Lord God, even my God, is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you, until all the work for the service of the house of the Lord is finished” (1 Chronicles 28:20).

This third verse was like icing on a very satisfying slice of rich and filling cake. In the original, the blank space is “money” but it seems safe to fill this blank with anyone who has toppled off or simply abandoned that pedestal where I foolishly placed them.

Keep your life free from love of __________, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)