Grace for wimps

There is nothing like impossibly hard work to bring out the wimp in me. The decision to finish a master’s degree (abandoned when my parents moved in) was not made lightly. The Spirit of God tugged at me to do it, and I finally relented. The courses have been good, but they seem to be getting more difficult, with more challenging assignments and deeper truths to recall and rewrite, digest and discuss.

I nearly bailed out in the previous 8-week course, but made it through thinking the next one would not require that I view hundreds of videos and take in so much information that my mind was unable to absorb even half of it. However, the current 8-week course is also taxing my brain and stretching my spiritual muscles. No one can take theology without being challenged to apply it, and I am being challenged.

This morning, I prayed for some encouragement. The verses were the same as yesterday, but the reading that went with them spoke answers to my prayer. Here is the verse and I’ll write the rest of it in my own words . . .

But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. (Hebrews 10:32–33)

Before God urged me to finish this degree, I felt I was groping in the darkness and not clearly seeing what my next steps with Him should be, not that this choice was easy. I knew it would deeply bless me, but it would also take all my time and energy. Besides, how could someone my age remember and pass exams? Not only that, God gave me no clear reason why I should do this, only to do it. While there seemed much benefit in it, I knew it would be costly. For weeks, I argued with God.

Then in one radiant day, I heard Him clearly say that for me, for this time, this was the way that He wanted me to take. It was clear. I could not argue or say no. After deciding, a strange confirmation happened. I was given an unexpected source of monthly income. It covered the cost of the entire degree, something that I’d not worried about but nevertheless kept poking its way into the decision. I had no more excuses.

Decisions like that are important pivots in life. There is also a glory in them in that “God trusts me to do this?” and I am amazed. Still, I struggled with the decision and am again amazed because that sense of not being sure of myself or even of God voice has not been half as difficult as the struggle that has followed the decision.

  

I am six courses in (transfers plus 11 or so more to finish) For one thing, the time and energy that could have been put in other efforts begins to appeal to me, sometimes subtly as I sit in front of my computer facing assignments and listening to lectures. I didn’t expect myself to feel a dread at opening a book, even a book on a topic that I’ve always loved, and wishing I could run away from home, at least for a few days. This is hard work and I am a wimp.

Today’s devotional reading says that the most difficult task in life is not to win, but to keep what we have won — never to falter when the going becomes a huge challenge. God calls me to stick to it, not to go back on this decision, not to listen to the voice of the enemy who has harassed me from day one. That alone should convince me this must be important or Satan would not be so busy trying to deceive me into quitting.

The reading also says that important decisions ought to be reinforced by prayer for “there is no weapon like prayer for helping God’s people keep what we have won.” Prayer unites me to the living Christ. Prayer slaughters the worst thoughts and temptations. Prayer is the avenue of grace that brings to my aid the power of the life of Christ. In these gloomy and often lonely days, prayer is my link to the love of God and His desire for my perseverance.

In all my faltering, the Lord continues to whisper words of encouragement and direction saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” This day, I can put one foot ahead of the other. That is all I can do. And the blessed Spirit reminds me of a story about a grandfather clock. The stopwatch asked it how it was possible to keep time for a hundred years. The wise old clock replied, “One tick at a time.”

That hated “S” word…

Hagar was a servant to Sarai (Sarah), the wife of Abram (Abraham). When this couple were barren and anxious to have the descendents God promised them, Sarai had the bright idea to have her husband sleep with Hagar and thus produce a child for them. Apparently this was a common practice at that time because people with children were considered blessed by God, so those without a family must be under His curse.

Hagar could be considered a victim in this situation. She had no say in the matter and yet when she conceived, she “looked with contempt” on Sarai, a common attitude others had toward barren women. Slave or not, she was just as prone to pride as her mistress was to scheming. Sarai simply wanted to make the will of God happen in her timing rather than waiting for Him.
 

So then what? Abram, a typical husband, wasn’t about to suffer with two women fighting each other in his presence and in his household, so he decided Sarai should have her way concerning this slave woman.

Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your servant is in your power; do to her as you please.” Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her. (Genesis 16:6)

It is hard to say where Hagar thought she would go. Slaves didn’t have the same freedom as today’s hired hands. She could not offer her service to the neighbors. She was also pregnant, changing her value as a servant. Whatever was on her mind, the Lord God knew her peril. He told her what to do, and also made obedience attractive…

The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress and submit to her.” The angel of the Lord also said to her, “I will surely multiply your offspring so that they cannot be numbered for multitude.” (Genesis 16:9–10)

This command to submit to the one in authority over you is repeated throughout Scripture. Even though submission has become a hated and greatly misunderstood concept, it is still an important Christian principle. Children are to submit to their parents, wives to their husbands, slaves to their masters. We are all to submit to each other, and of course we are to submit to Jesus Christ. 

The New Testament word for submission comes from a Greek military term. It means to line oneself up under, as standing behind a military leader and following him into battle. When thought of in that light, submission is more a demonstration of unity against a common problem or enemy by cooperating with my leader in the battle against that enemy. 

Most people who despise the idea of submission are concerned about abuse of power. The one who is supposed to lead (against a common foe) turns and exercises unreasonable demands on those who are supposed to line up under him. This abuse of power has been displayed by governments, bosses, husbands, even parents. It happens in churches, businesses, schools, anywhere there are people in charge of other people.

Does that let the rest of us off the hook? If someone else does not obey God in what they do (as Sarai disobeyed God by taking matters into her own hands), does that give me license to disobey God also? Obviously, this is faulty reasoning and not biblical. I might argue that the abuse I suffer is unfair, even unbearable, but what then?

From what the Bible says, and from my experience, submission is a way to show others that they are important and that God’s ways are right. However, if in their position of authority they begin to flaunt their importance as if God was not in the equation, or abuse their power in defiance of God’s ways (He also has rules for those who rule) then my compliance is apt to show them their way is important and God’s ways are not. This is not what God wants either.

The hard part is being objective about this. Like Hagar, the human tendency is fleeing from abuse and thank God, He allows that as a way out. On the other hand, He also knows ways to help those with submissive hearts stay in tough situations and even be blessed in them. 

God can also deal with the Sarai’s of this world. My problem, unlike powerless Hagar, is wanting to do that myself. I retaliate or find some human way of “fixing” those people who are supposed lead with submissive and servant hearts of their own. More than once I’ve tried that route, only to find that God knows far better than I do when to fight, when to flee, and when to stay in submission. Very often, it is submission that brings the greatest blessing and reward.

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Lord, while Abram and Sarai are the key figures in this scenario, it is good to think about Hagar and how difficult life must have been for her. You intervened with instruction and gave her a blessing that sustained her. This blessing is beyond my understanding (for her offspring have been the enemies of Israel ever since) but I do know that Your command to submit to those in authority over me is right, whether I understand Your reasons for it or not. I also know from the story of Hagar, that even though someone may suffer in submission, You will bless anyone who decides to listen to Your Word and do what it says.