Giving back . . .

Go and proclaim in the hearing of Jerusalem, Thus says the Lord, “I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride, how you followed me in the wilderness, in a land not sown.” (Jeremiah 2:2)

In the summer of 2012, I realized that my love for God was not as whole-hearted as it used to be, so I asked Him to forgive me and restore that former passion. Little did I realize the spiritual war that would follow and the junk that He would expose in my heart.

Today’s devotional reading takes me back to that, and reminds me of this ongoing discipline of loving God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. And it is a discipline. I heard part of a sermon this week in which the radio preacher was talking about love being hard work. He didn’t think so on his honeymoon, but laughed at the change five years later.

Loving God should be easy. He has saved me and blessed me. Returning that love should be automatic, but my old sin nature is so prone to forget that He loves me. I am too easily duped by the liar into thinking that God’s love isn’t real.

Besides, God and I don’t speak the same love language, at least not all the time. I tend to want what I want, forgetting what belongs to God.

Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created. (Revelation 4:11)

Loving Him is about giving Him what belongs to Him: worship, praise, thankfulness, obedience, and showing love to His people. Instead, I get whimpering because those things are dwindling or missing in my life. How selfish! Chambers says, “There is no joy in the soul that has forgotten what God prizes.”

He adds that it is a great thing to remember that Jesus actually asked for a drink! He is so kind to give me all that I need. Couldn’t I be more thoughtful about His desires? How much kindness have I shown Him this past week?

Right now I feel about as needy emotionally and spiritually as I’ve ever felt, yet these thoughts turn my heart away from me and toward Him. At the same time, I know His grace; when I give back to Jesus the love and kindness He deserves, that almost always turns out to be the answer to my own emptiness.

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Bob is improved today. They put his oxygen intake level up to 4 so he is thinking clearly again, even though he is still repeating himself (not normal for him at all). He is still short of breath, but on two types of puffer thingies that are making him breathe deeply . . . and cough. His lungs still “look terrible” but we are hoping they begin to clear soon.  He is one of those guys who thinks if he does the right thing, feeling better will follow, so he had me go buy him an electric shaver so he could remove his five-day stubble. That made him ‘look less grubby’ but he says the ‘feeling better’ part is still to come.

We are very grateful for all the email and all the prayers. Thank you for your kind support and encouragement. I may not answer the calls, but we are blessed by your care.

Generosity is about faith in my supplier . . .

Challenged by the “Living Generously” Seminar last weekend, I’ve been asking the Lord how I should respond. A woman in our small group decided the group should respond by giving clothing to the homeless. I’ve thought about that, and realize that winter is coming and the homeless will be subject to cold weather, but is that their greatest need? Is that the best way to help them?

This morning I asked the Lord again about generosity (this is more than just money). My first thought was the burden I have, not for the poor but for young people who want to go to Bible school and cannot afford it. This relates somewhat to my spiritual gift of teaching and my desire that Christians think with the mind of Christ which has been given them. While we all agreed to bring donations for the homeless, others in our small group will have different burdens. My husband is burdened to help someone who is not homeless but unemployed.

Having a heart to be generous comes from Jesus. He is the ultimate giver and sets a high standard for His followers. That standard goes beyond giving out of our abundance and asks that we give in sacrificial ways.

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich. (2 Corinthians 8:9)

Even in His birth, Christ became poor. I’ve tried to think of what He left behind to come here and become one of us. Could it be like me becoming an ant or a flea so I could bring a great gift to those critters? Could it be like me moving to the street and living without anything but the clothes on my back so I could share the Gospel with those who would not otherwise listen to someone who has a home?

Jesus gave up heaven’s perfection to be born in a stable to a couple who were graced by being ordinary. While they loved and obeyed God, they had no status or position and were sinners just like the rest of us.

Jesus who has everlasting life was also born to die. He did not consider Himself more important than the needs of those He came to redeem from sin. He took our nature (but without sin) that He might put Himself in our place and suffer for sin, satisfying the wrath of God against sin. He knew that He would rise from the dead, but for the joy set before Him, He endured the cross and the shame of it.

He was also born into relative poverty, not that poverty is shameful but that He could have chosen a palace. This choice is perhaps the most relevant to my thinking on generous living. God has given me much, yet I am not an owner but a manager of all these resources. I could choose to indulge myself. I could choose a palace (of sorts), or I can decide to forego whatever uses I might find for what I have and become poor that through my poverty others can profit.

Whatever sacrifices I make are small compared to the great sacrifice made by the Son of God, yet He is not measuring the size of what flows out of generosity. He lauded the poor widow who only gave a couple pennies, but “she gave all she had” and that was commendable in His eyes.

Being generous means that in giving time, money or anything else, I learn to think like He thinks and that I have a heart that is ready to respond to whatever He asks me to do . . .

For if the readiness is there, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have. For I do not mean that others should be eased and you burdened, but that as a matter of fairness your abundance at the present time should supply their need, so that their abundance may supply your need, that there may be fairness. As it is written, “Whoever gathered much had nothing left over, and whoever gathered little had no lack.” (2 Corinthians 8:12–15)

The most interesting part of this is the reality of God being the owner and me being a manager. If I give something away and it turns out that I need it, the Owner is quite happy and perfectly able to supply whatever is missing. In this arrangement, the needy person has no lack and God takes care of me too.

Love includes giving, even giving up

While I’m downsizing, most of my motivation for giving things away relates to needing more space and less burden from any items that I no longer use or need. However, some of that comes with emotional attachments. Parting with those things has been difficult, even though I know this is something God wants me to do.
 

This morning, God challenges me about my motivations and offers another reason for being willing to give my possessions to others. 

This comes from the story of Hannah. She had been barren for years. Finally, she conceived and bore a little boy named Samuel. However, she had made a vow that if she became pregnant, she would give this child to God.

And when she had weaned him . . . she brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh. And the child was young. Then . . . they brought the child to Eli. And she said, “Oh, my lord! As you live, my lord, I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the Lord. For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there. (1 Samuel 1:24–28)

George Bowen writes that “God sometimes bestows gifts just that love may have something to renounce. The things that He puts into our hands are possibly put there that we may have the opportunity of showing what is in our heart.” The New Testament offers a notable example.

Now when Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, a woman came up to him with an alabaster flask of very expensive ointment, and she poured it on his head as he reclined at table. And when the disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, “Why this waste? For this could have been sold for a large sum and given to the poor.” But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me. (Matthew 26:6–10)

Mark and Luke also include this story, yet not one of the three say how this woman came into possession of such costly ointment. Luke’s account says this woman was a sinner, suggestive of a prostitute. Perhaps that is why none of the disciples noted that this act was a great sacrifice for her. They were not like Eli who worshiped God because of what Hannah had done, but criticized her for not using the money for charity. They also criticized Jesus for letting “this sort of woman” touch Him. 

Jesus rebuked them. He indicated that others would ‘get it’ and said that “wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her.” (Matthew 26:13) 

The challenge to me isn’t about giving up expensive items or even hoping others will worship because of what I do. Instead, it starts right at the beginning — my motivations for sacrifice. As I deal with the excess in this time of my life, and I giving things away because I need to get rid of them? Or am I doing it because I love Jesus and want to obey Him? 

My motivations are often mixed when they could be pure and simple. As Bowen adds, “Oh, that there were in us a fervor of love that would lead us to examine everything that belongs to us, to ascertain how it might be made a means of showing our affection to Christ.”

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Lord, today I must get at this task again. Some items are filled with memories. Others have that “someday” value. A few represent past achievements or affirm my skills. As I sort and toss, may Your Holy Spirit keep the story of Hannah and these devotional thoughts in my mind. While my de-clutter efforts certainly do not include a child to give up as Hannah did, some items have a strong value to my emotions and ego. I cannot keep all of them. Yet I also do not want to make up reasons to ease the difficulty of downsizing. It would be a blessing if You could help me offer these back to You (they are yours anyway) and do it just because I love You.

All I have is Yours. . .

As I return to ‘normal life’ after a creative high in the Rocky Mountains, I have to ask the Lord what He wants me to do with what I have experienced and learned. I’ve the beginning of a piece that excites me. I could abandon most of my other creative pursuits and take this direction, but not without first knowing if doing so is within the will of God.

Years ago, I painted wildlife and earned enough money to partly support myself. It was a passion for me, but in my early Christian life, it slipped into an idolatry. I worshiped what I was doing more than the God who gave me the ability to do it.

The Lord asked me to give it up. After much argument and agonizing, I did that, and even though He gave me many other creative outlets, there was never the opportunity or direction to go back to that.

In the past few years, it tugs at me again. I’ve gone into the art supply department of a store, or to a gallery, and felt such a longing that it brought tears to my eyes. On all those occasions, the practical side of me knew that there is no way to fit anything more into my life, and the spiritual side knew that unless God is in this, I cannot start anything or restart where I left off.

However, quilting and teaching quilting has been at His direction. Through this creative activity, I’ve met new people, learned new skills, and had wonderful fellowship with other believers. This past week, at Quilt Art Rockies, the sense of God’s blessing and presence never left me in the two workshops I attended and while I worked on two separate projects. One evening lecture moved my heart so much that I could hardly speak of it afterward. She covered principles of good art, a topic I know, and how it applies to quilt making. Again, I felt the tugging on my heart. Of course I am asking God what I’m to do with all this, and do expect Him to show me.

This morning I read the story of Hannah. She was barren and in sorrow and grief, she asked the Lord to give her a child. In her request, she told God that if He did, she would give him back to Him, to serve Him all the days of his life.

God answered her prayer and Samuel was born. When he was just a little child, Hannah and her husband took him to the priest, Eli, and she “lent him to the Lord as long as he lives.”

At that point, Hannah prayed. She said: “My heart rejoices in the Lord; my horn is exalted in the Lord. I smile at my enemies, because I rejoice in Your salvation. No one is holy like the Lord, for there is none besides You, nor is there any rock like our God.”

She continues for several verses. Her prayer is joyful and filled with praise for the righteousness and power of the Lord her God. He had given her the child that she longed for, and she gave him back to Him.

In my heart, the Holy Spirit makes a connection. In my case, the longing is not for a child but for the go-ahead concerning creative expression (and a change in my life to make it feasible). My prayer is not one of grief and a sense of loss as it once was when this part of me became more important than God. Instead, I am asking for the same thing, but I can now focus on the wonder of God. He makes us in His image, and because of that, we are creative people. I am able to celebrate that and rejoice in Him because of it. My attitude has changed. Instead of thinking of this skill as ‘mine’ and mine to do with as I wish, I know where it comes from and why it cannot be idolized.

This morning, I see that anything God gives me not only comes from Him, but must be given back to Him. Samuel was His. My ability, and even my desire for creative expression are His too. The process, the journey, the results, all of it, belongs to Him and must be released to Him, not reluctantly and in shame for making it an idol, but with joy and praise. Whatever I am and can do belongs to God and what happens is entirely up to Him.

This does not constitute a “Yes, go for it” at this point, but the sacrifice of Hannah and the joy in her prayer add a dimension to the desires of my heart. I realize I must let Him poke and prod my heart and expose my motives. He alone knows if I am totally willing to let go of the selfishness of ‘self-expression’ and do this His way, in His time, and for His glory.