Being goaded means…

One line in the story of Paul’s conversion has always struck me as being important. Some versions put that line in the description of his encounter with Jesus. Others leave it out, but Paul says it in his personal testimony to King Agrippa. While this passage is descriptive it is also instructive. I’m convinced that it is an important part of my story too. Here is what Paul (Saul) said:

At midday, O king, I saw on the way a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, that shone around me and those who journeyed with me. And when we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice saying to me in the Hebrew language, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ And I said, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ And the Lord said, ‘I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. But rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you, delivering you from your people and from the Gentiles—to whom I am sending you to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’ “Therefore, O King Agrippa, I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision, but declared first to those in Damascus, then in Jerusalem and throughout all the region of Judea, and also to the Gentiles, that they should repent and turn to God, performing deeds in keeping with their repentance. For this reason the Jews seized me in the temple and tried to kill me. To this day I have had the help that comes from God, and so I stand here testifying both to small and great, saying nothing but what the prophets and Moses said would come to pass: that the Christ must suffer and that, by being the first to rise from the dead, he would proclaim light both to our people and to the Gentiles.” (Acts 26:13–23)

The line? It is Paul’s quote describing what Jesus first said to him: “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.”

The first question is recorded in Acts 9:4, but in the most accurate and earliest manuscripts, the second part is left out, yet Paul includes it in his testimony to Agrippa. The most thorough lexicon says the word goad in this expression an idiom, literally ‘to kick against the goad’) or to react against authority in such a way as to cause harm or suffering to oneself or to hurt oneself by reacting against a person or command.’ It could be translated: ‘Saul, why are you persecuting me? You are hurting yourself by your resistance.’

Why is this quote important? Because it reveals that the Holy Spirit had been convicting this man about his actions. His encounter with deity is not mentioned prior to meeting Jesus, yet it had happened, indicating that God was at work in his heart before he finally was met on that road and saw the light.

Too often Christians today make a thinly veiled boast about their salvation by saying, “When I accepted Christ…” as if that was the crucial moment. Either the period pf warming up the heart is ignored or unrecognized, or human pride wants to take credit for  what God has done. 

Even King Agrippa knew that salvation was seldom a quick process. His response — “In a short time would you persuade me to be a Christian?” — suggests he was not totally closed to the idea, but that is not why the goads are important. In my mind, this goading is part of the salvation process. It is the Spirit of God convincing sinners that faith in Christ is good for me and to say NO to Him is harmful to me. Those goads from God are important to move the attitude of sinners from Romans 3:9ff to a desire for repentance and faith in the Savior.

PRAY: Lord, as I pray for salvation of family and friends and wonder why it takes so long, I realize from Paul’s story that even when sinful people are violent toward Christians and our faith, You could be goading them toward faith by showing them Your goodness. How important that I be patient with You, but also loving toward those who do not yet believe. For all I know, love and kindness could be goads in Your hands. Not only that, when I share with others the goads that You used in leading me to faith, it could easily reveal to them that You are using similar goads with them. 

God blesses — even in sleep…

 

If anyone thinks we must choose faith I’d like them to explain only one experience. I went to bed last night filled with worry about someone and unable to dispense with my fears. But I did fall asleep. An hour or more later I woke up, filled with joy and glad that God was in charge of that person and would take care of her. I went back to sleep. Morning came and faith was right there with it. I didn’t do anything, only felt a deep sense of gratitude.

John Piper’s devotional for today is a tribute to John Owen and his understanding of our communion with God. Instead of quoting these writers, I’m thinking about the levels of God speaking in the life of young Samuel. He’d been given to the Lord as a child: 

Now the boy Samuel was ministering to the Lord in the presence of Eli. And the word of the Lord was rare in those days; there was no frequent vision. At that time Eli, whose eyesight had begun to grow dim so that he could not see, was lying down in his own place. The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the temple of the Lord, where the ark of God was. Then the Lord called Samuel, and he said, “Here I am!” and ran to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” But he said, “I did not call; lie down again.” So he went and lay down. And the Lord called again, “Samuel!” and Samuel arose and went to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” But he said, “I did not call, my son; lie down again.” Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord, and the word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him. (1 Samuel 3:1–7)

However, God had spoken to his mother and she listened. This is why Samuel was in this place. My husband and I have both seen how God spoke to our lives long before we knew Him and put us in situations where He wanted us to be. As self-governing sinners, it seems so unlikely we were listening, yet somehow God made things happen that fit with His plan.

And the Lord called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” Then Eli perceived that the Lord was calling the boy. Therefore Eli said to Samuel, “Go, lie down, and if he calls you, you shall say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant hears.’ ” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. And the Lord came and stood, calling as at other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” And Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant hears.” (1 Samuel 3:8–10)

There came a day when we heard God speak too, knew it was Him, and we were compelled to believe by the amazing gift of faith. How do I know it was a gift? Ephesians 2:8-9 says so, agreeing with my experience but also in light of Romans 3:9ff, knowing that I did not do this myself. Not capable or even willing. Jesus also said:

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. (John 15:16)

As much as I’d like to take credit for at least hearing Him, I cannot. He knocked at the door of my heart and saying NO never entered my mind.

Up to a point, most of my communion with God is one-sided. He talks; I listen. Yet the more I listen and respond to Him, the more I hear and understand. Owen points out that I can talk to the Father, the Son, and the Spirit, yet these distinctions are not always distinct to me. I have no idea who came to me in the night and changed my fears into joyful faith. Was it the effect of sleep? I think not. I slept only a bit more than an hour before wakening in joy. Yet somehow God chased away my fears, and very likely the author of fear was ordered out, showing me again that my salvation from sin is not up to me to renounce it. Nor is rebuking Satan always up to me. If need be, my Savior does it, even when I’m asleep!

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:8)

PRAY: In the fatigue of a very busy week, and the pressures of so many needs about us, prayer has been vital and so has sleep. I feel weak and helpless, but You are with me and taking care of all things. I am so very thankful.