Grieving Losses?

 

Yesterday a friend and I discussed the losses of growing older. In my mind, it was the loss of ability to do anything well apart from Christ. I was thinking of what He said:

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:4–5)

In my friend’s mind, the losses were more like physical inabilities and mental acuity. Aging does affect the body and our faculties, however, I was not thinking about that so much. Yesterday, I read a long list of people who served God well into their old age. Last week I met a few people who are 90-100 and are going strong. Some have aches and pains but all had sharp minds.

Instead, I was thinking about serving the Lord only in the strength and direction He gives, and doing only His will and not my own. In other words, I was considering the loss of running my own life, doing what I thought was best, like making a mark in the world. The Lord has shown me the extent of human weakness is not mere physical or mental. It includes everything, even the abilities that I’ve had all my life. His Word says all of that is to be put off. Instead of relying on me or my talents, I’m to abide in Him, in weaknesses, but also in the things that could be called strengths.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh— though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless. But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ (Philippians 3:3–8) 

Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. (Ephesians 6:10)

These verses are not just about spiritual matters and Christian service. They are about who I am, my character and what I rely on for everything I do. I try to explain this, but discover that many Christians separate their lives into secular and spiritual, ordinary life and spiritual. How can that be? Who do I model when I’m visiting family or buying groceries? Am I not to be like Jesus in everything, not just when at a prayer meeting or doing something “spiritual”? 

The desire to run any part of my life is from my old nature. God’s design is that I be like His Son, who said, “Not my will but thine” even as He sweat blood. Paul said, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21) and lived that out in suffering the loss of all the “good” things he could have gloried it — to gain Christ. He also said, “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” (1 Timothy 6:6)

Realizing the losses, such as the ability to plan my day my way, and so on actually reveals I trust me more than God. How silly is that! I feel the loss and sometimes look in the mirror and wonder who this person is for I am not the same as I was before. Even in my old age, I’m climbing a learning curve and sometimes struggle with the effort. Letting go of my will is a continual challenge and fills life with the surprises of realizing that God knows what He is doing!

PRAY: This week I obeyed You by sending a message to someone with info they needed. I expected a rebuttal or no answer at all but You surprised me with a positive response. Each day, doing what You say makes an incredible difference to time, effort, better use of the skills you give, and a greater sense of the importance of serving others. You remind me of that old cosmetic commercial where the woman said, “I’m not getting older; I’m getting better” only leave the “I” out of the last line. You, by the power of Your Spirit, never stop Your power to change, and do wonders beyond my imagination. 

God’s upside-down value system

A book offered lists of character traits and abilities. Readers are told to circle at least ten that are true for themselves, then go through those ten with considerable thought. Since great strengths can be sources for great temptation, how were these positive traits causing problems in their lives?
 

One of my ‘strengths’ is a creative imagination. While this can be used for good, it can also take me down garden paths that I should not visit. Another strength is determination, but that one easily turns to simply being stubborn. One would easily assume that being a Christian involves learning how to avoid the weaknesses and live by our strengths, but that is a human concept, not a biblical one.

When God gets hold of a life, He isn’t interested in our strengths because His people must learn to function in His strength. Consider Paul. He was first Saul, a strong Pharisee with much religious training and zeal. To him, Jesus was not the Messiah and Christians were in sharp denial of the God that he understood, so he persecuted them.

But Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any belonging to the Way, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. (Acts 9:1–2)

On that trip to Damascus, Saul met the Lord Jesus Christ and was converted, reborn, redeemed, made a new man. His understanding of Jesus changed, as did his attitude toward His followers.

But Saul increased all the more in strength, and confounded the Jews who lived in Damascus by proving that Jesus was the Christ. (Acts 9:22)

Paul also explained the change in his attitude about weaknesses and strength. He talked about a problem that he had, but didn’t name it. He wanted that problem to go away and said,

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:8–10)

 These thoughts have me thinking about my weaknesses and the reality that I have two options. Unless God takes them away, they can be sources of temptation to sin in some way or another, or they can be reasons for choosing the power of Christ, of letting His strength be perfected in me, of even boasting about them.

Paul went from persecutor to prayer warrior, from darkness to light, from murderous to missions. Jesus does that to people. He takes the sin that seems to control us and washes it away, replacing it not with more power, but with Himself and His godliness.

That is not all. God also takes the strengths that we seem to rely on, and changes our attitudes toward those strengths, making us glory in our weaknesses. After listing all his “qualifications” for good, Paul said. . .

For we …worship the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh— though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also… circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless. But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord… (Philippians 3:3–8)

This morning I’m thinking about what it would be like to glory in my weaknesses. Yikes, this is not normal for me. I can easily glory in my strengths and discard those weak areas as if they were my worst enemies. Paul did the opposite. He tossed his strengths on the trash heap and boasted of His weaknesses.

I’ve been in this classroom before, which means I’ve still not learned this lesson. Even though I know that God’s thoughts are higher than mine, and that He wants this change in my values, this is still a huge challenge.