Guard your heart

The Grisham book I’m reading combined with these devotional thoughts concerning Judas make an interesting combination. How easy to condemn the traitor Judas. How easy to condemn the characters in the book — even though they are fictional, they do represent those who make the evening news.

Yet in both I can see the power of small sins, sins that many dismiss as not important. However, they grow from secret to suspect to glaringly public. Sin is never content to stay a trifling indulgence. Once given a place in the human heart, it is like a weed that drives its roots deep. The visible parts may seem small, but try pulling that sucker out of the ground!

Judas had an indulgence. He liked money. In the beginning, it never occurred to him that his love of money would lead him where it did, but the Lord knew.

Jesus answered them, “Did I not choose you, the Twelve? And yet one of you is a devil.” He spoke of Judas the son of Simon Iscariot, for he, one of the Twelve, was going to betray him. (John 6:70–71)

Judas may have begun with a secret delight in putting his hands in the money bag and feeling the coins. Soon he thought that if a few feel that good, more would feel better. Of course, he didn’t care for giving any of it to needy people, or even sharing it with others. No one kept count. Why not repay himself for his service to the other? His pilfering became fraud and finally his desire for more led him to sell out the Son of God.

Would things be different if he’d been held accountable? No one knew what was received and what was spent. Each trusted and each was trusted. What if a balancing of ledgers or auditing of accounts had been required? Would that have changed anything? I doubt it. The Bible says that Judas was avaricious, miserly, fraudulent, a “thief” and if being a traitor was not in his mind at first, his sin would have come out anyway.

Because of his greed, when the opportunity came, he gave in. Money had become more important than Jesus, at least until he realized what he had done. He threw away the coins, but because his love for them had spoiled his love for Jesus, he could not ask for forgiveness. Instead, he hung himself.

I don’t know yet the rest of the story in the Grisham book, but I know my own story and I know the power of one seemingly hidden sin. It can, like today’s devotional says, “twine itself around the fibers of the heart and choke and kill with its poisonous embrace whatever was pure and noble and good.” The goal is to replace any love for God with love for self, and if it can do that, then when the lights come on, the sinner is left hopeless and without recourse… or so it seems.

History, like that of King David and his affair with Bathsheba, warns that even the greatest spiritual privileges and places of power can be neutralized by the indulgence of one illicit passion. A life lived in unclouded sunshine can end in the darkness of guilt and despair, all because a single sin sprang up and drove down roots in secret. By the time it began to surface in actions instead of thoughts, the sinner was already ruined.

All this is to say that there are no small sins. Even thinking in a selfish and indulgent way can grow into ravenous and destructive choices.

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

The flip side of good

John Grisham’s book, “The Brethren” has characters that are in jail, downright selfish, and doing their best to continue their illegal activity. Their evil attitudes are obvious.

For the past few days, my devotional readings have focused on Judas, the traitor who for thirty pieces of silver sold out Jesus Christ to those who would crucify Him. While this man walked with Jesus and saw Him do miracles, even experienced His love and compassion as did the other disciples, he allowed one passion to grow unchecked in his own heart. He was the treasurer for this company of men, and this gave him opportunities to indulge himself; he liked money.

Jesus knew the heart of Judas. Before the event, He asked the disciples if they would stick around, even as others were walking away. Peter boldly said,

Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God. (John 6:68–69)

Jesus may have smiled. Finally, at least one of them got it. However, He answered them,

“Did I not choose you, the Twelve? And yet one of you is a devil.” He spoke of Judas the son of Simon Iscariot, for he, one of the Twelve, was going to betray him. (John 6:70–71)

Did this register? Did Judas even hear what Jesus said? Did this disciple know his own capacity for sin? Or was he so focused on what he wanted that Jesus’ words seemed as nothing to him?

Grisham’s book also has a character who seems a fine, upstanding citizen. He has no flaws, and appears to be the hero of the story. However, power appeals to him, makes him walk taller. As the story unfolds, he is offered an opportunity beyond anything he’d ever expected. I’m only into the first part of the book, but already see this man is being tested. Will he choose wisely? Or will he indulge himself?

I once took a test designed to bring out which Christian ministries would best fit my passions and skills. One of the questions involved personal strengths. After circling words from a long list of possibilities, the next question said, “For each strength circled, describe the corresponding possibility for sin in the use of that strength.”

Some of this was easy. For instance, someone with a good imagination can use that ability for evil or for good. A person skilled in leadership can use it for a personal power trip. However, the answers became more complicated and more revealing. I learned much from that exercise. It comes to mind as I think about Judas. He may have had some strengths but his life needed a test. In God’s wisdom, he was given charge of the money bag. Would he pass? Or would his greed get the best of him? Obviously, he made the wrong choice.

This is a warning. Most of us do not think about the trap hidden in godly opportunities. When opportunities come, we can so easily be blindsided. For every good thing done in service to God, there is a dark side, an appeal to my selfishness. I can even start out doing the right thing for the wrong reasons, but more often start with the right reasons and wind up in the ditch.

My crashes may not be as obvious and those that have happened to prominent television evangelists, other pastors, Christian authors and leaders. But little people are not immune. The devil wants to destroy the credibility of all Christians, not because we are particularly important in his eyes, but because God can use anyone for His glory. If the Lord offers me a wonderful opportunity, I can go for it, but must remember that I can also make foolish decisions, and like Judas, betray the One who handed me the choice.

The worst loneliness

For the past few days, my devotional readings have been about loneliness. It happens when I feel helpless, when I doubt God and when I am focused on myself. All three dance around the very worst loneliness — the loneliness of sin.

After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified, “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke. One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table at Jesus’ side, so Simon Peter motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. So that disciple, leaning back against Jesus, said to him, “Lord, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I will give this morsel of bread when I have dipped it.” So when he had dipped the morsel, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. Then after he had taken the morsel, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly.” Now no one at the table knew why he said this to him. Some thought that, because Judas had the moneybag, Jesus was telling him, “Buy what we need for the feast,” or that he should give something to the poor. So, after receiving the morsel of bread, he immediately went out. And it was night. (John 13:21–30)

Notice that one disciple who was positive that Jesus loved him (and who wrote this passage) is leaning against Jesus. Can anyone be closer to God than that, or more intimate with the Holy One?

But there is that other disciple. He has already accepted a payment to betray Jesus. He must have been sitting close enough for Jesus to reach out and offer him bread, but he was far from being close to Jesus. In an act of hypocrisy, he accepted the bread and then Satan entered him.

Jesus knew. No sin goes without His knowing, but instead of a warning and a rebuke, He told Judas to go for it. Jesus knew that His Father had purpose for this betrayal, so He did not resist. The disciple left — on his way to deliver Jesus to death and on his way to his own destruction.

What was going on in the mind of Judas as he closed the door of the upper room behind him and walked out into the night? Imagine leaving a dinner party where everyone loves each other. You are alone and not included in that love. Worse yet, you are going to harm the host and scatter the rest. Was he gleeful? I don’t think so. Today’s devotional writer thinks that at that point, Judas experienced deep and shattering loneliness.

Sin is antisocial and destructive. It ruins relationships and puts up barriers. It separates us from God and from one another. Sin is not graded on a scale in the Bible, but if it were, what Judas was doing would be at the very lowest point.

For some strange reason, going in we think sin will make us happy. It doesn’t. In the end, it drives us into the night, away from all love, family, friends and fellowship. In His parables, Jesus spoke of one sheep who went astray, one coin that was lost, one son who left home for a far country. Why not five sheep or two coins? In using a solitary number, Jesus illustrates two things. One is that He cares about individuals, but also that those who choose sin are lost and alone.

I’ve learned the truth expressed in the devotional, that every sin I conquer leads me to richer fellowship with others, but every sin I deliberately cling to is a mighty power that drives me into the dark. Those who choose to stay in that darkness without repentance and turning back are in danger of being lonely and alone forever — and that is hell.