He holds all my days in His hands. . . .

This week has been crammed with events. When added to the usual, this results in fatigue for me, sometimes confusion, and even disappointment in what seems to be many wasted hours and years. I have a birthday in a couple days and have reached an age when that number is large and hard to believe.

Today’s devotional was instruction in defending the gospel of grace which is not a problem at the moment, so I opened a book called “Everyday Prayers” and was so blessed to read it.

First, God guided me to remember that from before I was born He saw me and thought about me. His knowledge and presence has always been with me:

Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you. (Psalm 139:16–18)

Part of my dreams and early morning thoughts were about regrets, things I wish I could do over, but the next verse was this one, and it brought tears and joy. God says:

I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. (Joel 2:25)

Years ago, I presented a devotional at a senior’s home in Saskatchewan, an area known for its invasions of grasshoppers. I used this verse to encourage those aging people regarding their regrets. Now God uses it to bless me. Such a wonderful promise.

Then the writer wrote that this day is his birthday “and the number just keeps getting bigger. Yet as ‘vast’ and ‘great’ as the sum of my years seems to me today, vaster and greater are my thoughts of you. The number of my years is calculated merely in terms of decades, but if I tried to ‘do the math’ concerning your glory and grace, I’d have to count every grain of sand on every beach that has ever existed. With David I can honestly say, “How precious to me are your thoughts.” Again, I am blessed. The birthdays keep coming, but is that not better than dreading each one? Greater than wishing I could turn back the clock?

The prayer writer also wrote more, which is so easy to personalize. . . . 

“Father, keep on rescuing me from all wrong thinking about you. Keep showing me how little I really see and understand about the greatness of your love for me in Jesus. . . .  May the gospel keep on getting bigger and bigger and bigger. It’s a source of incredible peace and freedom to know that you’ve ordained all of my days for me. That feels not like unfair fatalism but rather Fatherly affection. I’ll not live one day more or one day less than you decree, by your sovereign purposes and eternal pleasure.”

He also wrote about wanting to turn back the clock for a do-over for certain parts of his life. Me too, but again, God “restores years eaten away by locusts.” It is a far better choice to rest in His love rather than be depressed with my regrets. He even commits to make all things new.

I can echo this writer’s prayer as well:

PRAY: Oh Jesus, every day, week, month, or year you may add to my life be full of a greater grasp of Your love that will never let go of me. Grant me the strength to comprehend the breadth and length and height and depth of the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, and fill me each day with all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:18–19) This I ask in Your matchless and merciful name. Amen.

To Live is Christ — leaning against the Father’s heart

Wishing I could go back forty years and change the way I did things makes me depressed. The past cannot be changed, but God isn’t into regrets either. I’m to learn from my ignorant mistakes, but must remember a timeless truth about God; He can do things that my wishing and regrets can never do.

Joel 2:25 contains a promise to Israel about the trials they experienced because of their failures to listen to God. He said to them, “I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten. . . . My great army which I sent among you.”

This verse didn’t make sense to me until I looked up the Hebrew word for “restore.” It could be translated “give peace” as it is the same root word from which comes the Hebrew greeting, “Shalom.” Knowing that God can give peace is a giant step toward experiencing it. However, the verses that depress me (if I do not focus on the promises and power of God) are these:

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. (Deuteronomy 6:6–7)

My children are grown. They are not daily sitting or walking with me and no longer reside in my house. I cannot turn back the clock. However (and this is a big however), God has given me other children, His children, who are eager to learn the things of God. That is amazing, and for me a great joy.

Even so, this is different from teaching my own children. My heart still wishes I could be a new Christian again and know what I know now. Perhaps the Israelites felt like this too, after they realized their wanderings and attitude of heart had been passed on to the next generations. No doubt they felt regret and sorrow. Yet they also were given hope.

Besides peace about their losses, the Old Testament is full of promises for the next generation, for their “children and children’s children.” God says that He will bless them and bring them into the saving knowledge of Himself. He will preserve their offspring.

Although those promises are for Israel, they reveal how God cares, even when His people disobey Him. Because of Christ, He forgives and gives peace. His words to Israel reveal His heart, and knowing His heart gives me peace too. Those words also show me that He can change lives despite the failures of parents. He does not need my help. He says, 

For I will pour water on him who is thirsty, and floods on the dry ground; I will pour My Spirit on your descendants, and My blessing on your offspring; they will spring up among the grass Like willows by the watercourses. One will say, ‘I am the Lord’s’; Another will call himself by the name of Jacob; Another will write with his hand, ‘The Lord’s,’ And name himself by the name of Israel. (Isaiah 44:3–5)

My part is still prayer and obedience. Should I see evidence of thirst or barrenness in their lives, I’m not to panic or worry. Locusts have to chew up something before God restores it and God looks for that empty longing before He pours out His blessings.