Nothing is too hard for God

Judges 11; Jeremiah 24; Mark 10; Acts 15

For me, life with Christ began when I was in a very low place. For a long time I thought I could do almost anything but when my marriage fell apart, the feelings of failure brought me to my knees. Even though the crimes against our relationship were not mine, I felt if I’d been a better wife, my husband would have been a better husband. In that frame of mind and helplessness, Jesus came to me.

Lifted out of despair did not erase all sense of failure. After the divorce and after I remarried, God showed me the problem. First, divorce makes both parties in the wrong. The Pharisees asked Jesus about divorce and after He answered them, the disciples asked Him again about this matter. And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:10–12) It took a long time for me to admit that I had sinned against God by giving my first husband the boot and remarrying.

However, the question asked by the Pharisees unearthed a deeper issue. Jesus told them that marriages fail because people, me included, are stubborn and have hard hearts.

And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:2–9)

I was a new Christian when God showed me that my remarriage was sinful. I’d been a Christian for several years when He showed me that my heart was hard. What was I supposed to do? There was no turning back, no solution, at least none at a human level.

Some people felt that what I had done was unforgiveable, at least in the sense of being included as an equal. The local church did not approve of me becoming a member, but the pastor rebuked those who opposed me. I was baptized but that same congregation felt I could not serve in any way. Years later, I was nominated to lead a national committee in another denomination but was rejected because I had been divorced.

I share this, not because I feel vindictive. For most of this and because I’d no knowledge of how ‘church’ worked or what the Bible said, I accepted it as ‘normal.’ Only later did God lift this off me. He did it by showing me that no matter what I had done and no matter what anyone has done; “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) 

This was a big help, yet at times I still felt that I was a reject. Then God gave me this:

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Corinthians 6:9–11, italics mine)

The truth of the matter is that sinners cannot be in the kingdom of God UNLESS they have been washed, sanctified and justified by Jesus Christ — saved and made new creations by His grace and the power of the Holy Spirit. No one is left out. The only sin that keeps anyone from the kingdom is the sin of stubborn rejection of what God says and does. Saying NO is deadly. Saying YES changes everything.

APPLY: I didn’t want to write about this today, but it is good to be reminded that God set me apart for Himself, washed away my sin and guilt, and looks on me as just — all because of the sacrifice Jesus made by dying for my hard-hearted sinfulness and giving me His new life, great peace and incredible joy. Thank You!

 

Interpreting Divorce

08/31/07
One of the ‘rules’ for interpreting any piece of writing is discerning the intended audience. This applies to the Bible and if this rule is neglected, misinterpretation can cause harm and grief.

Years ago, when I was a new Christian and newly divorced, the Bible teaching on divorce confused and upset me. I argued with it but couldn’t get away from it. A passage that catches my attention again today is Matthew 19:8. “He (Jesus) said to them, ‘Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.’”

In those days, divorce was initiated only by the men. They could divorce their wives for something as simple as burning the bagels. Women did not have the same rights, yet divorce was a horrible fate for them. They were not to remarry, but would have little support or way of earning a living.

This verse speaks to the men. It makes me think of the different basic needs of men and women and how that might affect the reasons either would want a divorce. My observation is that men want admiration and respect. The Bible affirms this in its instruction to wives. If the husband doesn’t get that admiration they need, they might look for another woman who will give it to them. Of course this is a general statement, not intended to cover every situation, yet it seems to be a bottom line.

On the other hand, women want security. For us, a secure relationship where we are loved and cared for, makes us happy. If anything threatens that, we are fearful and maybe feisty. If our spouse does not give it to us, we might look elsewhere.

Thinking about what Jesus said, it seems more likely that men in an unhappy marriage would be guilty of having hard hearts, whereas a woman's heart would be fearful and unsure. Since women could not (and likely would not) initiate a divorce, it fell on the men to love their wives (“even as Christ loves the church”) and keep their hearts soft toward them, burned bagels or not. Women were to respect their husbands and fit into their plans.

If Jesus confronted married men today, He might say the same thing. He might tell men to soften up, be tender toward their wives, make them feel loved and secure. Don’t do anything that threatens their sense of safety and so on. Don’t lie to them, don’t betray them.

Today, women can initiate divorce as well as men, so what would Jesus say to us? From my understanding of my own needs and fears, He might tell me to not be afraid, that He will take care of all my needs. He would remind me that my security comes from Him, and that He loves me with an everlasting love. He might also say that He would deal with any sinful or harmful behavior in the life of my spouse, that I can trust Him to take care of any fear I might have in that area.

While Jesus’ words in Matthew speak to the men of His day, there are other sections of the New Testament that speak to Christians in general about divorce. Paul (and Jesus also) makes clear that marriage is important, but give ‘exceptions’ for the innocent party in the strict rule against divorce. God knows that there are situations where one person is doing all they can to make the marriage work while the other one rebels against God and breaks all the rules in any book. For those in a marriage like that, the Lord has compassion and sympathy. He says, “If the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.”

My heart is settled on this issue, and has been for years, but sometimes this comes up and each time it does, God reminds me that I need to be careful in how I interpret what He says. I’m not to twist it to fit my situation in a way that gives me an excuse for what I do or don’t do, but at the same time, I’m not to feel condemnation by assuming He is saying something to me when He is not.