Centered devotion

For some, devotion to Jesus Christ means dedicating oneself to the work of the church, or to missions, or to a particular cause, or to care for a particular group of people. This seems to be what Jesus is talking about when He met with Peter after His resurrection . . .

He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” (John 21:16)

Chambers is quick to point out that any service to Christ comes from loving Him. That is, the service that I do must be from devotion to the Lord, not adherence to my church doctrine, or a concern for the lost, or any political or social issues, or even compassion for the needy. He sums up his thoughts with this paraphrase: ‘If you would be My disciple, you must be devoted to Me.’

The keynote speaker at a writers’ conference put it this way: “We are not called to write. We are called to love and obey Jesus Christ. Today He may have you writing; tomorrow He may ask you to do something else.”

Her words changed my life. I’d been hung up on the idea of a focus, a calling, something that God wanted from me that I could give all efforts toward doing. As soon as I heard those words, a great weight was lifted. I had no vision, no calling, but now I did; listen to Jesus every moment of every day and do what He says. Life might seem like a scrambled adventure, but it will be lived in the guidance and grace of God.

Before sitting down to devotions this morning, I was having a conversation with the Lord about the future. Of course He does not reveal much about that topic to any of His children, but He did tell me to pay attention to today’s reading in My Utmost for His Highest for He would give me what I needed to know.

He did. He wants me to be devoted to Him, to do His will as He reveals it. I am to love Him “personally and passionately” and in doing that, He will take me where He wants me to go, showing me what sheep to feed and how to feed them.

Basically, this direction is about living for Christ, but before anyone can do that, they must die to self, yielding all passions, supposed callings, personal ambitions and desires. I might want to do many things, but God wants me to shut up, focus on Him, listen to what He says, and do it.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. (John 12:24)

I’m not certain I was anxious about fruit-bearing, but I did get up this morning thinking about dying. Jesus was thinking about it too, but not the same kind of death that was bugging me. Again, He wants me to live moment-by-moment. This morning He may have me in church worshiping Him, but who knows what He might ask me to do this afternoon!

“Spiritual” self-centeredness

This human and sinful affliction of being self-centered can go to incredible extremes. One Christian writer said that we can be so focused on me, me, me, that our spiritual lives consist mostly of “spiritual navel-gazing” meaning a continual self-examination to see how we are doing as Christians.

I’m guilty. I’ve caught myself wondering if I look joyful, or if I am doing this or that right, or if this or that attitude or virtue is in my life. When I catch myself at it, I realize how far that is from the way God wants me to be.

The above-mentioned writer pointed out that there are only two places in Scripture that tell Christians to examine themselves and it isn’t about attitude or behavior nor checking to see how I appear to others. These commands are found in the letters Paul wrote to the Corinthians.

Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? —unless indeed you are disqualified. But I trust that you will know that we are not disqualified. Now I pray to God that you do no evil, not that we should appear approved, but that you should do what is honorable, though we may seem disqualified. (2 Corinthians 13:5-7)

In context, some of the Christians at Corinth were challenging Paul’s apostleship and whether or not he spoke for Christ. He turned the tables on them and told them to take a hard look at themselves. If they doubted what he was telling them, maybe it was because they were not saved. After all, those who belong to Christ will recognize His words to them, no matter who says them.

This would apply to me if I have stopped listening to the Lord (or never started). Jesus lives in me. I know it for many reasons, one of which is that I hear Him speak through the pages of Scripture and through other Christians.

However, some people pray the sinner’s prayer dozens of times. They are not sure that they are saved or if Jesus lives in them. Is that because they do not hear or believe His promise? Or is it because He actually is not in them? This is an important self-examination. However, once I’ve affirmed that Jesus lives in me, then I don’t need to keep asking. He promises never to leave or forsake those who belong to Him. If I believe Him, I will believe that.

The second Scripture that suggests self-examination is in the context of taking communion, or sharing in the Lord’s table.

For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes. Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep (are dead). For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world. (1 Corinthians 11:26-32)

Interpretations differ about what “unworthy manner” means. The church that I attend puts an emphasis on making sure all known sin is confessed. Others look at the context and consider that unworthy could mean excluding either the cup or the bread. Still others think that this is about the slack attitude the Corinthians had toward this church ordinance and they needed to stop being so indifferent to its significance.

I’ve known folks who were so sensitive about their sin that they never felt worthy of participating in communion. They felt they had to be perfect or they were disqualified. This seems to me like spiritual navel-gazing. The focus is on me, not Christ.

I’ve also known folks who passed the cup and the bread in a “we do this every week” rote manner without even thinking about what they are doing. It seems to me they should do some self-examination.

As for me, I know that I am not perfect and will not be “worthy” this side of heaven, but if that is all I think about, my focus is still self-centered. Instead, God wants me in tune with the Holy Spirit and letting Him tell me when I am in error (and when I do well). I’m not the best judge of that anyway! Spiritual navel-gazing is simply a waste of energy and most likely sinful too.

When we have communion in our church, I need to think about what Christ has done for me; His blood was shed for my sin and His body broken for me. He is my Lord and Savior. This is about Jesus, and from what I’m reading, if I am thinking about Him and my focus is on Him, there is no need for self-examination.