Struggling to be Holy

 

Each day brings new problems. Not only do I want God’s will for solutions, but I wonder about the nature and the reasons for whatever happens. I realize this could be human curiosity, even sinful seeking for gossipy tidbits, but my heart deeply wants to know how to pray. Understanding people starts with understanding myself, yet I know that not everyone thinks the same, nor do they interpret others the same.

An example recently revealed that friends we see as open and transparent are not viewed like that by others. It came out when these friends withheld information from those they do not trust and were  viewed as secretive, even deceptive and called liars, which is not true. Guesses and conjecture. I’m beginning to realize why some say their relationships are ‘complicated’ and difficult to manage.

Hubby and I discuss issues like this one and conclude that many problems are God’s to solve. I have no idea how to let a person know that they are not trusted and told everything. How does anyone tell another person that their inability to listen is off-putting, or that laughing at a sad story is hurtful, or that always talking about themself makes listeners feel belittled. Conviction of sin is not my job. This is what God says to me today:

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. (1 Peter 1:14–19)

The word ‘holy’ means having superior moral qualities yet goes beyond that as possessing divine qualities in contrast with what is human. God is unlike us, “other than” and beyond our goodness. He is described in the Bible in understandable terms, yet His fullness goes beyond familiar words.

I am reading “The Existence and Attributes of God” by Stephan Charnock that attempts to make known the realities of who God is in this lengthy, two-volume set. It is incredibly convicting as it describes the contrast between God’s thinking and human understanding. It also clearly describes the  difference between being Spirit-filled and living according to our old nature.

Charnock is convicting, but God is using his book to help me figure out why I do things and why other people do things. Sometimes the fleshy old nature is subtle and many Christians do not realize what makes them tick, never mind what makes others tick. However, in puzzling relationships, Charnock’s explanations are helping me know how to pray when I see any Christian conformed to the world and seem without the discernment to realized this as a problem.

God calls His people to a life of entire consecration and perfect trust. We must come out from the world and be separate, setting our minds and affections on heavenly things, not on earthly ones. Jesus said I must seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, surrendering every thing that would interfere with this, and walk through the world as Christ walked — with His mind and His tenderhearted kindness for one another, forgiving them as God forgave us. I am to return good for evil, seek the honor of others and not stand up for my own rights. I must be kind, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ’s sake, has forgiven me. I must be gentle, meek, and yielding, not standing up for my own rights but for the rights of others. I must do everything not for my own glory but for the glory of God. This means I’m to be holy as God is holy, not like the world but like Jesus.

PRAY: In all the messes around me, I hear You telling me to keep my eyes on You, to be like You when confronted, or when others are walking in the flesh and expect me to get on their side. You always know what to say to those whose attitude is sinful. I don’t. So far, I can see such problems, pray for them, but am anxious that my sinful flesh does not pop up and harshly tell them they are in error. You show me in such kind ways and do not shame me when I act foolishly, so this is a hard place to be. Teach me to do and say the best thing when it is needed, and help me to keep my mouth shut when there is nothing You want me to do besides fervently praying.

Faith in Christ equals persistent obedience

An Internet quilt show ends each segment with the hosts saying, “It’s a new day — every day.” While they are not trying to be biblical, I’m thinking how it applies to the promises of God when struggles with sin get me discouraged. Each day, the Lord offers me a fresh start and overcoming power for a new day. . .

“But he gives more grace. Therefore (Scripture) says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.” (James 4:6–10)

My struggles vary in seriousness, at least in my mind. Perhaps I’ve been over-critical of someone else, or angry with my husband for no good reason, or disobedient to the Holy Spirit in speaking up when I’d rather not. Sometimes it is simply eating out of gluttony rather than need or staying up too late when the Lord is nudging me to get to bed. I’m not out robbing banks or cursing Him or worshiping idols, yet the ‘little’ sins put a stain on holiness too.

Tozer says God Himself is the holiness and the purity I need. I know that. This holiness is not something that comes and goes but is always with me because God is always with me. The problems come when I stop yielding to Him. Instead of allowing His Spirit to fill a surrendered and trusting heart, I slip into old habits of trusting myself and my own judgment or simply wanting what my old nature wants instead of trusting and obeying Him.

Christ is my sanctification, my holiness. He lives in my heart and works in me to cleanse and purify sin. However, I must consent and cooperate. Is it possible to become tired of the process? To let my guard down and simply slide off the path? It is not only possible but seems so easy.

Some might say that I am too hard on myself, that God’s grace is not as picky as I am. I might not say it, but my reply might be, “What about verses like those from James (above)? Or like these”:

“As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’ And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot.” (1 Peter 1:14–19)

I can make lots of excuses. Who cares if I over-eat or ignore the nudges of my conscience? But I know better. God cares. He says, “Be holy in ALL your conduct” and do this out of respect for Jesus Christ who shed His blood to rescue me from the futility of life governed by my sinful self.

^^^^^^^

Lord Jesus, You are holy and You live in me. I am Your disciple and given new life so I can reflect Your image in this dark world. Some of my bad habits may not be visible to others, but should a time come for me to shine, my ability to do so will be affected by those habits that cling like leeches and muddy the reflection. I need more grace to be the person You want me to be, not only in the larger issues but also in the tiniest hints of rebellion. Enable me to be humble and draw nearer to You.