Serving Gold Apples

Determined not to gossip or say negative things about her, when her name came up in conversation with another Christian, God put it on my heart to think of positive and helpful ways to deal with third person, a whiner that no one enjoys being around.

In the conversation, I remembered another Christian friend who helped me with my whining. We often traveled to a small town and when we returned, I complained about their small-town way of always gossiping, always talking about others they didn't like, and when I came home, I wound up doing the same thing that I didn’t like. Then, one day before another trip, my friend said to me, “Now you bring me back some good news.”

That changed everything. Determined to do it, I listened differently, stayed aware of the good and let the other stuff drop out of memory. Because of that ‘lesson from the Lord’ my attitude changed. Not that I’ve never fallen back into the same negativity, but I am much more aware of the power of encouraging others by looking for the good in their lives and being thankful for it. 

I’ve also learned that whining about life affects health. When every ache and problem is noted and talked about, my focus goes from being thankful to sharing my agonies too. We all know people who only talk about their poor health — all the time. I don’t want to be one of those people.

Health is influenced by words or by suffering in silence. While I need to speak in positive ways, I also need to keep short accounts with God. He reminds me of these verses:

For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah (Psalm 32:3–5)
I was mute and silent; I held my peace to no avail, and my distress grew worse. (Psalm 39:2)

If I’ve unconfessed sin, my inner heaviness affects my body. To those always complaining about their aches and pains, how can my words help them turn from that and deal with anything in their spiritual life that might be causing it? 

Sin and selfishness is usually not silent though. While it can be hidden in the heart, lack of faith in God and my selfishness (or any godliness) will eventually show up in my speech. God says:

You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. (Matthew 12:34)
But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, (1 Peter 3:15)

The Bible makes it plain: “The words of a wise man’s mouth win him favor, but the lips of a fool consume him. The beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness, and the end of his talk is evil madness.” (Ecclesiastes 10:12–13) My heart shows up in my words. But if my words are right (because my heart is right), they can be powerful:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. (Colossians 4:6)

With all this in mind, the person no one wants to be with might benefit from challenging questions, for example: “Tell me what you are thankful for today.” Or “Share one very positive thing that has happened to you this week.” Or What is the best gift you have ever received?”

PRAY: Lord, if these questions are the right things to say, helpful and encouraging, then bring to mind one of them, or anything else that might help this very negative person realize that her words are adding to her miseries. She needs Your grace and to realize that You care about her.