The tendency deep in my heart is to want to do something to remedy my spiritual shortcomings rather than trust God. It makes no logical sense. Why would I pick utter failure over a sure thing? But this is the power of sinful pride and the blind foolishness that goes with it.
Example: Jonah ran from God’s command and wound up in the
belly of a fish. There he called to the Lord and the fish spit him out on dry
land. Today’s devotional questions if he really repented or if he was only
sorry that his sin put him into such dire straits?
Then Jonah prayed to the Lord
his God from the belly of the fish, saying, “I called out to the Lord, out of my distress, and he
answered me . . . I am driven away from
your sight; yet I shall again look upon your holy temple . . . When my life was
fainting away, I remembered the Lord,
and my prayer came to you . . . Those
who pay regard to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love. But I with
the voice of thanksgiving will sacrifice to you; what I have vowed I will pay.
Salvation belongs to the Lord!”
(Jonah 2:1–9)
His words sound like repentance, but why did it take such
a desperate situation for him to “remember the Lord”? Isn’t repentance about
the sin rather than the consequences? He makes no mention of his rebellion
against God and his flight of disobedience, only that he was in trouble.
I can relate to this. I’ve sinned and decided it was not a
good idea, not because I was rebelling against God but because I didn’t like
the results. That is not true repentance.
A man named Simon did it too. He saw what the disciples
were doing and, “he believed and was baptized,” but later on tried something
very carnal. “Now when Simon saw that the
Spirit was given through the laying on of the apostles’ hands, he offered them
money, saying, “Give me this power also, so that anyone on whom I lay my hands
may receive the Holy Spirit.”
However, Peter quickly rebuked him: “May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain
the gift of God with money! You have neither part nor lot in this matter, for
your heart is not right before God. Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of
yours, and pray to the Lord that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be
forgiven you. For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bond
of iniquity.”
I’m not sure what Simon’s bitterness was about, but
obviously he was not content with the spiritual life God gave him and wanted something
more. Whatever the case, instead of going to God himself to ask for more or
even to ask for forgiveness, he asked Peter to pray for him. Note that his request
was not that he be forgiven, but that he would not suffer the consequences of
his sin.
And Simon answered, “Pray for me to the Lord, that nothing of
what you have said may come upon me.” (Acts 8:13–24)
God wants integrity. His goal is perfect likeness to Christ,
but as He works to transform me, He wants me to be honest with Him. He also
wants me to recognize that my sin is against Him and repentance is about far
more than just trying to get myself out of trouble.
Also, I cannot make excuses for my sin nor point to any
so-called obedience as if that would make up for it. Sin cannot be put on a balance
scale with “goodness” because sin ruins the good, like one rotten egg ruins the
entire omelet. Jesus clearly said so . . .
Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the
kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name,
and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And
then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of
lawlessness.’ (Matthew 7:21–23)
Judas was the supreme example of failure to biblically
repent. Even he could have found forgiveness had he honestly taken his sin to God,
but . . .
. . . when Judas, his
betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he changed his mind and brought back
the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, saying, “I
have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” They said, “What is that to us? See
to it yourself.” And throwing down the pieces of silver into the temple, he
departed, and he went and hanged himself. (Matthew 27:3–5)
Rejecting true repentance is rejecting the gift of
forgiveness. I might want to get rid of the guilt or its consequences, but not want
to get to the bottom of things and let God wash away my sin.
As for penance, I may need to do something like repay what
I’ve taken or apologize to someone I’ve hurt, but those actions are not
repentance. Neither is being sorry that I got caught, or saying I’m sorry only because
I don’t like the outcome.
Repentance also does not make excuses by pointing to the
good that I’ve done right, nor does it think I must punish myself for what I’ve
done wrong. True repentance is admitting I’ve sinned against God, no excuses or
explanations, and humbly remembering that my salvation isn’t about anything I
say or do . . .
For by grace I have been saved through faith. And this is not
my own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that I cannot boast
(Ephesians 2:8–9) nor
can I fiddle around with any ‘repentance’ that allows me to keep on sinning.
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