Spiritual war

Even though Paul wrote that a Christian does not “wrestle against flesh and blood” there are times when I think I am my own worst enemy. Most of yesterday was a blur of battle. My two “I wants” were extreme and diametrically opposed. Paul described this battle . . . 

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. (Galatians 5:16–17)

For most of the day, I could not tell which extreme was God’s idea and which was mine. A clear battle is difficult; a confused battle is worse. Both sides seemed to have merit and both sides seemed to be fraught with danger. However, I didn’t know which side I was on.

Finally, after much prayer, I asked God to deliver me from Satan’s plans, whatever they were. I thought my problem was my old nature fighting the new, but as soon as I asked God for help and for protection from my spiritual enemy, the war was over. Clarity returned, as did joy.

What God wanted me to do was difficult, but not impossible with His help. What I wanted to do was difficult also, but the results would not benefit anyone. I realized that as soon as the enemy, who is also a liar, stopped shouting in my ears. Paul describes this warfare . . . 

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints . . . (Ephesians 6:10–18)

Today, as I analyze yesterday, I see that my choices were between mercy and confrontation, forgiveness and correction, bearing the sin of someone else and demanding that person take responsibility for their behavior. I know that sometimes God does ask His people to confront and “restore” those caught in sin. I also know that it is like Jesus to cover sin and be merciful, hence my confusion.

While it is important to know which is which and when one or the other is the will of God or my will, my attitude plays a part. Do I have a preference? Does my old nature want to “get even” or tell someone off? Or does my old nature not care enough to help someone stop sinning? Or is the Spirit telling me to forgive? Or to confront? How can I be sure? James gives this . . . 

God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (James 4:6–8)

The last line of this passage is important, particularly the double-minded reference. How could I think that I would know the will of God without first being willing to do whatever He asked? It is not up to me to fight through the options in making a decision. Instead, He tells me to submit to Him, even if I don’t know for sure what He is asking of me.

Further, I cannot resist the devil until I am submitted to God. By asking God to clear the matter, I was admitting that I didn’t know the answer. As soon as I realized what my ideas were (as opposed to His), I could see the sinful desires mixed into them. With confession comes cleansing and purity — and clarity.

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Father, I didn’t enjoy yesterday’s war at all. But I do enjoy the fruit of the Spirit that comes from yielding to You. I don’t get to do what I thought was a good idea, but I can clearly see that You have a better idea. I don’t fully see or understand Your plan, but realize once again that mercy triumphs over judgment and grace is far superior to making demands. My prayers today will again be for Your mercy and grace — in my life and the lives of others.