To Live is Christ — trusting in His will

I have an arterial fibrillation in my heart that is aggravated by caffeine. I’ve never drunk coffee, colas or anything with caffeine in it until a couple years ago. I tried a vanilla cola twice and wound up in emergency — twice, until I made the connection and stopped drinking it.

Since then, I’ve been okay, until Monday night. We were out for supper and I had a lava cake. Dark, rich chocolate. My heart went crazy. Irregular beats and blood pressure jumping all over the place. It helped having a nurse living in our house. She called our local medical hotline and the advice was to take it easy, let it settle down. If A happened, call my doctor. If B happened, call 911.

Last night my heart rate was still fast but not irregular. I slept extra hours. During all of this, I kept thinking of a verse that tells it like it is, but also gives me hope. 

My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26)

Whenever I’ve had any health issues, from the threat of a simple cold to something more serious, I’ve talked to the Lord about it like this: “Lord, if this is part of Your will for me, I am willing to accept it. (I have to mean this.) However, if it isn’t, then You know what to do.” Many times, the attack on my body simply vanished.

I’m praying this way again. God is the great Physician. He could stop this goofy heart irregularity in a moment. He is also wise beyond my understanding. He may want me in the medical center, or the hospital or an ER room. He can make that known to me and get me on the phone. I’m paying attention to my heart, but also the One who is the strength of my heart.

The verses from my devotional are about the heart too, but in a different sense. This is about my attitude and not my physical blood pumper . . .  

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, those who revile your good conduct in Christ may be ashamed. For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. (1 Peter 3:15–17)

Setting God apart in my heart is about putting Him first. It is about listening to what He says, doing what He wants me to do, and being willing to speak out about the hope that He gives me without fear of any persecution.

Jesus never got sick, so I don’t have that model to show me how to think or act concerning this heart problem. However, He is the rock, my fortress and deliverer. He is able to show me and my doctors what to do, giving all of us wisdom and skill. Because of that, I put my hope in His will concerning me.