Flexible obedience

Sometimes I feel like a pretzel. The first time was when God taught me to stop talking so much. Then after I became quiet, my next lesson was learning to speak up at His prompting. While this is an ongoing process, initially the sensation of being turned in a new direction reminded me of the twists and turns in a pretzel. I just got used to a new thing (new for me) and had to bend in the opposite way.

This week He is at it again. Yesterday I wrote about His questions to me about evangelism as part of the disciple-making process. I’m passionate about teaching believers, and love to share what I know, but when it comes to outreach, I’ve little skill and less passion and make lots of excuses for not wanting to do it.

I wrestled with this, and am feeling like a pretzel again. I want to be and do whatever God wants me to be and do, so am trying to bend in whatever direction He desires, so have yielded on this one only to have Him throw another curve at me this morning. It is in these verses:

And He (Jesus) Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. (Ephesians 4:11-13)

The first thing I noticed is that everyone listed here has a role; God does not expect one person to do it all. Duh! I know that. We’ve known pastors who burned out because they tried to do everything the church needed. Not a good idea. However, burnout is not limited to clergy; Christians who want to serve God can get caught in that same trap. I love and want to please Him, yet in this case my ego is likely at work.

I’m also sensing the same principle in this lesson as the one about talking. It isn’t that God wanted me to be silent all the time, or that He wants me to talk all the time. He simply wants me to pay attention to the Holy Spirit and be obedient.

It is the same with skills, passion, and all other things. He might ask me to do the work of evangelism. He might ask me to do the work of a teacher. He might ask me to do nothing. Whatever it is, I’m to listen and be obedient, not flap about with excuses about my expertise, interests, passions, track record, or whatever else I might come up with to avoid one or the other.

The goal is to be mature, to be like Jesus. Sometimes Jesus exercised His compassion for souls. Sometimes He taught His disciples. Sometimes He headed for the hills to pray. At all times He did as His Father commanded with an attitude of “not My will, but thine be done” which is the same attitude that He wants me to have.

Tonight we visit a family member who has been in a cult for most of his life. That particular cult is trained to turn off their brains as soon as anyone tries to teach them, so I know that my passion for teaching is not a good plan. Tonight God may have another plan. It could be that all of this bending and twisting is to vividly remind me that I must pay attention to His Spirit and be willing to speak, or to shut up, or to reach out in compassion rather than do my usual “share what I know” and tune him out.