I’m my own worst enemy

As I ask God to ruin my pride and make me more like He wants me to be, I’m experiencing the power of that old nature. Far too easily I listen to the lies of my spiritual enemy and stubbornly refuse to take second place to God and His glory.

Example. Certain issues vie for my attention these days, none of them being very important, but I’ve felt discouraged by their combined weight. I’ve asked God for His joy and strength, yet cannot seem to get past this sense of being overwhelmed. This morning’s devotion was based on verses taken out of context and didn’t do a thing for me, so I turned to another source.

The reading in that one is Psalm 71:21, which says, “You shall increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side.” The author of the devotional starts to hit on my problem. He says (I’ve edited it to make it personal):

God comforts me on every side, but I do not believe His words of comfort. The remedy for this is plain. If I want to be comforted, I must believe every word of comfort God has ever spoken and refuse to listen to any words of discomfort spoken by my heart or by my circumstances (and by the devil). I must set my face like a flint to believe in the divine Comforter no matter the sorrows and trials, and accept and rejoice in His all-embracing comfort. I’m to “set my face like a flint,” because when everything around me seems out of sorts it is not always easy to believe God’s words of comfort. I must put my will into this matter of being comforted just as we put my will into all other matters in our spiritual lives. I must choose to be comforted.
This may seem impossible when things look all wrong. How can I believe that God really is caring for me as a mother cares for her children? Although I know perfectly well that He says He does care for me in just this tender and loving way, I say, “Oh, but I don’t feel as if He cares.” This is where my will must come in. I must say to myself, “God says it, and it is true, and I am going to believe it no matter how it looks or how I feel.”

I know these things. Why then am I still wallowing around? The Holy Spirit answers my question with this, “You are insisting on focusing on yourself, even when it makes you miserable, even when you know this is not My way. Such is the strength of your sinful flesh. You want to be the center, but you must put that selfishness to death.”

I know the way to do that. I need to praise God, think about Him, and be thankful. Even though the Bible says our battle is not against flesh and blood, and even though I know my spiritual enemy would have me take my eyes off God, I also know that my flesh, my old nature, is one of my worst enemies and to declare war on it requires the power of God and full cooperation on my part. It also requires remembering that for this stubborn, selfish me, the Lord Jesus shed His blood.