Faith is such an odd thing. Sometimes I struggle to believe, and need to continually remind myself that God is able, but often faith just happens. Like a sudden insight, I just know that a will happen, or is true.
When I came to my Bible this morning, I’m thinking about our granddaughter and how impossible her situation. The problems are so enormous and seem to have no answers. Great sadness filled my mind and I bowed my head again and asked for help, help for this day and help for her.
Then God took me back to Joshua 14 where Caleb is described as still having full strength at eighty years of age. On that basis this man asked God, “Now therefore, give me this mountain of which the LORD spoke in that day; for you heard in that day how the Anakim were there, and that the cities were great and fortified. It may be that the LORD will be with me, and I shall be able to drive them out as the LORD said.”
These words echoed my thoughts, “Lord, the land is full of giants; but give me this mountain.” I don’t feel like I have the strength of Caleb, but nonetheless, a difficult challenge faces us too, and I want to conquer this mountain and its enormous giants, and find rest from this battle for our dear grandchild.
Then I read the verses after that. “Hebron therefore became the inheritance of Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite to this day, because he wholly followed the LORD God of Israel. . . . Then the land had rest from war.”
As I read them, something happened in my mind, like a light going on. Suddenly, and without any effort or self-talk on my part, I definitely believe that the mountain that seems so overwhelming today will one day be overcome, and instead of fears and fatigue, there will be rest from this battle. I know I must obey Him, yet also know He will give the victory. It does not depend on me.
The Bible constantly tells us to believe in God, but it also says faith is “not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” In one unexpected instant, He gave this gift to me concerning my mountain. One second I’m anxious and not sure; the next second I know.
As I read the passage again, I noticed that Caleb said, “it may be that the Lord will be with me . . .” and smiled. Even though faith just knows a thing is true, there is that sense of holding it lightly, not presuming that God will do a thing, realizing I could be wrong, realizing that my mountain is still huge, yet inside, deeply knowing that He will do it.
In fact, faith usually carries with it the sense that it has already been done. The mountain could loom large and threatening for a long time, and the battle is not over yet, but in my heart, faith already gives me rest. God, You are amazing—and totally faithful, but Your faith certainly is an odd thing.