Learning and relearning . . .

Yesterday I debated with God about what is happening in my body, according to what one doctor says. I don’t want to be seriously ill. This crazy a-fib is enough, but maybe the Lord has other tests of faith for me? Anyway, it was a day of stress. I tried to be willing to submit to His lordship and soon realized that unless His Spirit is filling me, I cannot do that. I felt like a bug held down with a pin.

To add to my angst, God was not saying anything. However, this morning He speaks loud and clear . . .

“. . . Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18–20)

Months ago, He said the same words regarding my heart and it blessed me. I even repeated them to concerned people who asked how I felt. This is God’s body and He can do with it as He pleases. I meant it. Now He is checking my faith again and for a day I totally flunked the test.

Tozer says God works out the details of our Christian experience according to the individual temperament and distinct characteristics He has given us. Some people will hear and understand His wishes and focus on them. I am not one of those people, as least the focus part. My scattered brain is all over the map. I’ve excused that as ‘just the way I am’ but He is not interested in leaving me like that. This week I heard one Christian say that popping here and there doing a little of this and a little of that winds up with little accomplished. He seemed to be talking to me.

On the same vein, Paul says:

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.” (Philippians 3:13)

He had one goal: “One thing I do” and this focus made him a significant person in the hands of God. I’ll never be in his category but am convicted by his words “one thing I do” even if he meant ‘one thing at a time.’

Yesterday, a radio preacher said much the same thing with more focus on motivation. He said that human need is vast but he cannot choose what he does on that basis; otherwise he would be going in circles. Instead, he learned to ask God daily for his marching orders.

I agree. Trying to select which human needs I can minister to leaves me worn out and confused, eventually doing not much. Far better to focus on the one thing God wants for that day, even that moment.

All this said, yesterday’s struggle showed me that my focus too easily turns from the ‘lesson of the day’ to my to-do list, or a long list of prayer regarding human need, or a bunch of I-wants. I do not think long enough about the lessons God is patiently teaching me. They are to be learned, but also remembered and done.

This means I need to deeply learn that I belong to Him, remember it, and act like it. If I forget, then the next pop quiz will throw me into a panic.

^^^^^^^^^^

Jesus, You are incredibly patient with me. I forget too easily and need to meditate more on what You say to me, not happily dash off to the next thing — falsely assuming that because I heard You, I ‘got’ it.