June 6, 2018

A toxic relationship?


There is a person in my life who acts as a friend, but something is off. This person talks in contradictions, makes statements that are later denied, agrees with the need of the world for Jesus, then turns around and talks about the joy she gets from her off-base versions of God. She has lofty dreams that are not grounded in reality and talks of the sun in worship terms. If these and other examples were sole, they might be explained, but the pile up has become scary. She is unpredictable and does not listen to my concerns for her.

I confronted some of these issues as gently as I could. After a couple weeks of silence, I saw her yesterday at the grocery store. She talked as if she didn’t hear anything I’d said and is still in denial about her need for help. This morning, I asked the Lord what my attitude should be

Now Lord, what am I supposed to do? I’ve asked for Your input and this is the passage for today:

“If a prophet or a dreamer of dreams arises among you and gives you a sign or a wonder, and the sign or wonder that he tells you comes to pass, and if he says, ‘Let us go after other gods,’ which you have not known, ‘and let us serve them,’ you shall not listen to the words of that prophet or that dreamer of dreams. For the Lord your God is testing you, to know whether you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. You shall walk after the Lord your God and fear him and keep his commandments and obey his voice, and you shall serve him and hold fast to him. But that prophet or that dreamer of dreams shall be put to death, because he has taught rebellion against the Lord your God . . .  So you shall purge the evil from your midst.” (Deuteronomy 13:1–5)

In context of my life, this passage is startling. I know I’m not to listen to the prattling about ‘other gods’ but never realized this relationship could be a test of my love for Jesus. In my desire to walk with Him, He is warning me not to let this person drag me down. While I’ve not at all abandoned Jesus, I have felt depressed in my spirit. In the past two weeks of separation from her, my emotions and ability to hear and focus on the Lord have greatly improved.

The other startling thing is the judgment of God toward false teachers who try to lead His people astray. He wants them put to death! In the time of this passage, God’s law prevailed. Today, civil law says NO to a death sentence for false teachers, but God’s judgment has not changed. His people are to avoid and not listen to anyone who speaks lofty ideas that fail to honor Him.

I’d been thinking that this person is not good to be around and how her demands on my time have replaced far healthier relationships. While seeing positive change in her would be wonderful, so far all I have seen is a rise in me of distrust, negativity, and a desire to spend time with others who are transparent, honest, and not faking their emotions. I cannot literally put someone to death, but I can purge or remove them from my calendar.

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Lord, this is difficult. I want to be a positive influence, not a victim of people who use me up. I’m thinking this is Your answer to my prayer, but You know how I want to be certain. The enemy could be stirring the pot because he doesn’t want my input into her life. If that is true, bless me with conviction and power. If not, show me what to say or do next. I’m trusting You.

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