Some things are a mystery . . .

Yesterday was one of those ‘down days’ that hit me without any apparent reason. The best word, but not a nice word, is crappy. I sat on the sofa with the television on and fell asleep sitting up — for two hours! My stomach felt odd and all sorts of other things seemed odd. I was not sick yet had no energy at all. By supper, I felt better. We went out for fast food (a rare thing) then did a bit of shopping. I asked for eight hours of solid sleep and the Lord gave it to me. Weird and awful day that ended well.

This morning, I asked Him to give me what I need to hear. This is what I read:

“For when they are humbled you say, ‘It is because of pride’; but he saves the lowly. He delivers even the one who is not innocent, who will be delivered through the cleanness of your hands.” (Job 22:29–30)

The first part seems clear, but not the last part. When I read this in several other translations, it became clearer and even the first part surprised me. This is from the New Living Translation:

“If people are in trouble and you say, ‘Help them,’ God will save them. Even sinners will be rescued; they will be rescued because your hands are pure.” (Job 22:29–30, NLT)

Tozer points out that sometimes we really don’t know what God is doing with us. As I walk with Him, His light reveals to me my sinfulness but that same light reflects Jesus to those around me. This is a puzzle, and if true, Tozer is totally on the mark.

He writes that there is such a thing as the “secret workings of the Spirit” in the soul for a time unknown and unsuspected by the individual and that most of the fruits of the Spirit are unsuspected by the person in whom they are found. He adds that the most loving, patient, compassionate soul is unlikely to be aware of these graces. Others will discover and see the Holy Spirit long before he or she will. They will thank God for that sweet Christian even as the person who has it mourns the absence of the very graces that others know he or she possesses.

If nothing else, the events of yesterday illustrate the unpredictability of human life. I cannot figure out or explain the bad days, nor the good ones. In the same way, I cannot figure out or explain whether the Holy Spirit is using me for anything. These verses say that God hears and answers my cries when I pray for those in trouble. They also say that as I walk with the Lord, sinners will be rescued. I don’t rescue them, but when I walk with Jesus, my demeaner contributes to their salvation. This is no more explainable than my physical situation yesterday.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

Jesus, reflecting You when I don’t think I am also makes no sense. My conclusion is that faith is in that which is unseen. I don’t know everything and don’t need to know. I just need to trust the One who saved me. You are in charge of my life. I also need to stay on the path with You and trust that You will use me, whether I realize it or not.