Deeper Intimacy

In the challenge from my pastor to deepen my intimacy with God, I’ve been pondering what intimacy means and almost decided it is easier to know when it is there or not there than to describe what it is.

One person says it is like long and continuing eye-contact, which creates a bonding —again without a good description. Others say intimacy is like friendship — you can be yourself and the other person loves you anyway, or you can be together without any hindrance to knowing and understanding each other.

How then is intimacy with God? Eye-contact seems impossible, yet God says, “Seek my face” to the psalmist (see Psalm 27:8). I find it interesting that Hosea connects this seeking with acknowledging guilt (see Hosea 5:15).

Certainly, with God I can be myself and know I am still loved. His love is based not on who I am or what I do, but on who He is. However, knowing that He loves me comes from having a relationship with Him . . .

“Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:8)

I had no idea that God loved me until the Gospel informed me of the extent He went to demonstrate it. Jesus came. Jesus displayed God’s glory. Jesus died for my sin. Those are His love actions and when Jesus came into my heart, they declared the reality of intimacy with God.

Yet to me, the greatest intimacy-builder is tied up in the statement of being together ‘without any hindrance.’ How can that happen? God is so far above me, so holy, so indescribable. That distance of ‘being’ and my smallness compared to His greatness is hindrance in itself. How can anyone be in the presence of such a God without hindrance — never mind have intimacy with Him?

The Bible says sin separated me from Christ, so I was alienated from His realm, without hope and without God in the world. (Ephesians 2:12) The hindrances are always about sin.

I think of the things that separate me from intimacy with others. Every issue that springs to mind also involves sin, either mine, or theirs, and usually both. Our fears of being ‘discovered’ or known fully do it. We fear rejection, create walls to protect ourselves and in the process intimacy is pushed aside.

I cannot do that with God. He already knows everything about me, even to the hairs on my head and to the words I speak before I open my mouth. What do I do with that? It forces me to examine my own lack of knowledge of God. Being totally known like that is like being stripped naked. I cannot hide. I must face the fact that my sin prevents me from intimacy with this all-knowing God.

This is not to despair. The Gospel is God’s answer. My sin is forgiven. Not just the past sin, but today’s sin and tomorrow’s sin. it isn’t about my efforts or contrition, but about the One who bore my sin and shame so God would be justified in forgiving me. Even so, my part is confessing sin, saying the same thing that God says about it. David, Old Testament king of Israel knew that. He said:

“Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah” (Psalm 32:1–5)

And I know the importance of confession too. Plunked between two verses about intimacy destroying attitudes is my favorite Bible verse, the one I long ago decided was key to spiritual growth:

“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.” (1 John 1:8–10)

Confessing sin is key to intimacy. The more I open up, the more time I spend, no matter what else I do, no actions will erase the distance between my heart and the heart of God created by sin that I will not acknowledge or ‘fess up to. It must be acknowledged before I can look Him in the eye. It must come out in the open before I will hear Him say, ‘Child, in Christ you have redemption secured by His blood, forgiveness of your trespasses — all according to the riches of His grace (Ephesians 1:7), and because of Jesus, You can snuggle up close to me and be loved and accepted.’

Timothy Keller, in his book “Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God” says, “To lose our grip on the costliness of forgiveness will result in a superficial, perfunctory confession that does not lead to any real change of heart.” And it is in the changing of my heart that I draw into a deeper relationship with the One who does the changing.

^^^^^^^

Jesus, words often fail me. How can I respond to all of this? I hear You invite me to come and talk to You, draw near, be open, allowing You to show me who I am so I can better see who You are — deepening the bond, deepening the intimacy. Oh, such a wonder!