God’s blessings seemed particularly needed yesterday. I started the day sad because of a family situation, one of those awful things that I cannot do anything about. I grieved. I also prayed. Talking to God seemed a catharsis, but no answers were forthcoming. The sermon at church was about the blind man in John 9 and how Jesus restored his sight. The pastor talked about seeing Jesus both physically and spiritually. I wanted to see Him, in action and in the problems of life, but He seemed far away.
Later in the day, the sadness increased as I felt the weight of many lengthy struggles to be a godly person. I fall so far short. I prayed about my sense of uselessness, partly because I’ve been taken up with studies and not had many opportunities to serve God, and partly because I feel completely inadequate and have not ventured forth.
I’d thought much about His Word to me for that day, a strong word about loving with His love, not that ‘do not love the world’ kind of love that is passing away. I pondered about how much of my life has been wasted on things like that, things that will not last.
Also pressing on my heart was an awareness of so much need in the world, even in the family of God. I’ve prayed much and for many of those things, but also wondered how much prayer has been a waste of words because my heart was not right.
This sounds like the beginning of a pity-party but it was more like a wake-up, a time to say to the Lord, “Whatever You wish, God. You are in charge and if You have nothing for me, I must accept that, and if You do have more for me, I’m so concerned that I will just mess it up.”
My words are not as poetic as that of the psalm writers who often spoke to God much like that. I really wasn’t thinking about them at the time though, only about me and the weight of sadness. I asked God to speak to me, to give me something about His mind that would bolster my mind.
God listens. The following are not His direct words, but they are from His Word. Even though this is a king talking to his son who would soon be king, I felt like God was saying something to me . . .
“Then David said to Solomon his son, ‘Be strong and courageous and do it. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed, for the Lord God, even my God, is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you, until all the work for the service of the house of the Lord is finished. And behold the divisions of the priests and the Levites for all the service of the house of God; and with you in all the work will be every willing man who has skill for any kind of service; also the officers and all the people will be wholly at your command.’” (1 Chronicles 28:20–21)
Maybe a sad heart hears things. Maybe a person with a huge capacity for creativity imagines things. Maybe this hit me like those silly horoscopes (which are not at all from God) that could fit just about anyone who reads them. Nevertheless, it seemed that God was saying this to me: “Be strong. Take courage. Don’t let fear run your life or get broken up over all these trials I’ve put you through. I am with you. I will never leave you or forsake you until you have finished all the work I have for you. My people are standing with you and for you. An army of angels watches over you. All you need to do is speak, and I will hear you and send the help and support you need.”
I know that 1 Chronicles 28:20-21 does not read exactly like that, but that is what I heard, and I also know that His sheep hear His voice, and He knows us, and we follow Him. Where else can we go? He has the words of eternal life.