Nothing has been as stressful as having my heart acting up. Two years ago, I required three cardio-versions. That is, the ER put me out and used paddles to jolt my heart back to the correct rhythm. Even with anesthetic, I don’t want to ever experience that again. So I am on three meds that make my heart beat slowly and steadily.
A week ago, my doctor suggested that I cut in half the morning dosage of one of those pills. For three days, I enjoyed greater energy and no shortness of breath, but then my heart began that odd, irregular beat. I thought it might be a coincidence, but went back to the full pill just in case. After a few days of keeping me awake, it is now behaving itself.
During all of this, the Lord has given me a passage of Scripture that is both a comfort and a prayer. . .
Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:25–26)
It is also true and today reminds me of another idea. I’m thinking how God made me in His image that I might reflect Him. This reality has captured my imagination and my desire. There is no one else that can do this in my life. I might pick up the habits and manner of speech of those close to me, or try to imitate someone that I admire, but God is the only one who can transform me and His people into new creations.
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:18)
This is why I have assurance of my destiny. My flesh and my heart will eventually fail, but right now and for all eternity, God is the strength of my heart. He is that one that gives me a heart to love Him and image Him, to consider Him the desire of life, even the desire of death. He makes me new, transforming my life. The final goal is totally incredible. . .
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. (1 John 3:1–3)
For this reason, what my physical heart does might throw me into a fright, but when I remember the promises of God and the fact that seeing Him makes me like Him, I get excited. Instead of being in a panic, I am filled with hope and anticipation!