First in my heart

Some say that what a person thinks about the most is their god, even their object of worship. Jesus said that what comes out of our mouths comes from the heart. That means that what we talk about the most reveals a great deal about our spiritual lives and the focus of our hearts.

When our youngest was about two, I was in the hospital for surgery. In those days, they didn’t send people home as fast as they do now, so a friendship  developed between me and the other person in the room. At one juncture, she told me that I talked far more about the babe in the family than the other two children.

That was a rebuke from the Holy Spirit. He used it to get my mothering into balance. Instead of doting on the little one, I was reminded that all three are important. I cannot make a big deal about one to the exclusion of the others. 

Now, reading this book about eating habits and attitudes toward food, God reminds me that food is not the biggest deal in my life either. Yes, we need to eat, and yes, we need to eat properly, but dwelling on what, when, and how much can put eating into that idolatry category.

As the book says, some people spend most of their waking hours thinking about food, their next meal, menu planning, and so on. I’ve not been that bad, but realize that the enjoyment of food has played an inordinate role in my thoughts. I’ve also realized how many times other things seek to dethrone Jesus — and that food is only one of many preoccupations.

For a few weeks God has been rapping my knuckles regarding food, but He has done this before with other things. My life is filled with family, friendships, learning (I’m an information gatherer), writing, teaching and art in various forms. I can go overboard on any one of these and even blame attention-deficit tendencies for doing so. God says my problems might find some excuses in that, but the reasons that I get obsessive about anything are spiritual reasons. 

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? . . . . But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:25, 33)

The first idol to be knocked off its perch was painting. I used to do a lot of it, often to the point that other responsibilities were neglected, meals were late, and I didn’t pay attention to vital interruptions, including those from the Holy Spirit. God is a jealous God — and for good reason. When I give Him my full attention, everyone around me prospers. When I obsess, everyone suffers, including me.

While not a person to follow the latest fads, I still can start something I enjoy or that challenges me, only to neglect the house, laundry, meals on time and even the ringing phone. Yet these verses are not just about becoming over focused on my interests and hobbies. They include giving too much focus or anxiety to the necessities of life — food, drink and clothing. It seems obvious that if I’m not to become obsessed with them, I’m not to become obsessed with anything.

This book on eating nailed me with my basic food problem: letting it and the enjoyment of it become a greater preoccupation than God, who is my joy and primary source of all things. The Greater Catechism says that I am to love and enjoy Him forever. No mention of food there.

The Bible says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). Eating is first for God’s glory, not for my pleasure or even for my nutrition and health. Learning how to make that true is a big challenge. The first part of making it happen is ensuring that I am primarily focused on the kingdom of God and His righteousness. As I do that, whatever I need falls into place. I’m also discovering (as I have repeatedly in the past) that when God is on the throne, everything else bows to Him — not to me.

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Lord, each blessing in life is Your servant. You order all things for my good so that I experience Your loving care. Those “things” occupying my life are gifts from You, but when I focus on the gift instead of You as Giver, then that gift usurps my heart’s throne — which belongs to You.

I’m thankful for Your discipline. One by one, You show me how each part of my life needs to take its rightful place. All the people and activities of life are Yours to bless me, not mine to govern or even worry about, never mind obsess over. Thank You for being patient, but also for victory as You help me keep that number one spot reserved for the only One who deserves to be there.