March 18, 2011

Looking for love?

Little boys, and big boys too, show off for it. Little girls flirt and hurt and manipulate for it. Children pester for it. Adults crave it. The things we do for love.

How many of my words and actions have been motivated by either a desire for love or to test and see if someone loved me? I’m not sure that I want to know. Even though I have always been certain of my parent’s love, a blessing many others go without, much of my life has been occupied with the pursuit of love. That is, until Jesus Christ.

Yet even knowing His love has had its ups and downs. How often has the enemy successfully convinced me that God does not love me? How often have I wandered in confusion thinking He was not acting in my best interests? Sadly, too often. This should never happen because Jesus said,

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. (John 15:9–11)
The first question then is, “How has the Father loved Jesus?” Before saying a quick, “Forever, of course” I have to consider the Cross. Does a loving father send His Son to death? God did. Then I note that Jesus Himself was certain of His Father’s love both before and after that event. That means that love can include awful circumstances and situations. When I suffer, that is no sign that God has stopped loving me. In fact, He says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3).

I’m supposed to live in that everlasting love, not run around seeking love in all sorts of other places. I might doubt it when times are tough; Jesus thought God had forsaken Him when He was on the Cross, but the love of God is forever and it is enough. He will take care of everything else that I need — and He does — because He loves me.

Living in that love is not a head game though. Going through life chanting “He loves me” isn’t the way to maintain my assurance. This is about obedience, but not to say that God stops loving me when I go against His will. Not at all. However, my sense of being loved stops then. When I sin, I become anxious, unsure. How can God love me when I did that?

Part of this thinking is because all sinners think that our sense of being loved comes from working hard to earn it. For me, every time I sin, my fleshy thinking kicks in. Instead of having the fullness of the Holy Spirit and assurance from God, I become full of me, myself and I. In that tipped-over state, I think I need to earn the love of God. However, abiding in His love is about staying right-side-up, about obedience. Abiding in this way is the only way that I will focus on who God is — instead of what I want. Abiding in Him is the only way to be filled with assurance of His care. As Jesus said, it is also the only way to have fullness of joy.

*****

Lord, each day brings choices large and small. In those choices I am challenged to seek Your face and look for the options that bring You glory. I’m not to worry about my own needs, for You love me and promise to take care of me. Give me grace to remember this, to be motivated by this. When I abide in Your love, life is a grand adventure. When I don’t, I’m like a hunter in a dark jungle — looking for that assurance that continually eludes my aim. Only in You can I find what I’m looking for, and the best part is that abiding in You means that I no longer need to search for it.


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