November 25, 2010

To Live is Christ — thirsty yet satisfied

When I read today’s devotional verses, somewhere in my memories popped up an image of a young deer on a warm day. Its mouth was open and its eyes were glazed in desperate panic. It wanted water badly enough to ignore my presence. 
As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? (Psalm 42:1–2)
Have I ever felt like that? Sometimes when life is tough I’ve felt a desperation for my troubles to go away, but this is not the yearning that the psalmist is talking about. It is more like the deer who will ignore everything else in its quest for water.

Watchman Nee, a Chinese Christian who was martyred years ago, taught that the soul consists of our intellect, emotions, and volition. That is, it is the part of me that thinks, feels, and decides. When I apply that to this verse, then I have a better image of what the psalmist is talking about.

A person who is thirsty for God thinks about Him continually. Because my spiritual life involves an enemy who wants to drag me into sin, the Bible tells me several things about the way I think. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. . . .” Paul also wrote,

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:3–5)
The mind is a battlefield. How I think affects what I say and do. If my mind, as part of my soul, is thirsting for God, I’m less apt to lose a round to sin.

Emotions are closely related to thoughts. That is, whatever I am thinking will affect how I feel. Faith is part of this. Billy Graham once said that Facts, Faith, and Feelings are like cars on a train. If faith in the facts pulls the train, then feelings fall into line, but if we let feelings pull our train, we get derailed.

When I think about God, am thirsty for God, and desire to be with God, my emotions are engaged in a positive way. Instead of despair or apathy or any other negative emotions, I feel hopeful, even excited. There is nothing as joyful as “appearing before” the living God. His presence settles my heart and gives me peace.

Of course choices are a big part of this. I can decide what I want to think about (and feelings will follow). Volition is a matter of the soul. If I’m thirsty for anything, I must decide what to do about it. When my choices are centered on seeking God and being near Him, then thinking about Him and feeling positive and joyful become much easier. My soul is satisfied with that choice.

Thirsting after God does not ignore the mean things of life. In fact, those trials are the way that I have learned how to have such a thirst. Only the Lord can satisfy me when the bottom falls out. Only His refreshing will lift me up when life tosses me flat on my face in the mud.

Now I can imagine myself being a thirsty deer. This can be a feeling of panic and desperation, but it can also be excited delight as I run eagerly for Living Water.

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