October 14, 2010

To Live is Christ — it is not all roses

Just because this has been a key verse all my Christian life does not mean that I escape being tested on it.
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Yesterday offered one of those tests. A couple years ago, an oral surgeon put two dental implants in my jaw. The first one-hour session included an extraction, a bone graft/transplant, and the titanium posts. A few months later, the implants were screwed in and crowns put on top. This was expensive, but all was well, or so I thought.

A few weeks ago, one of the implants was painful at the root. My regular dentist opted that we “wait and see” but in three weeks, the crown was loose. He sent me back to the oral surgeon who said the implant had to come out. It took some drilling and a torque wrench.  I kid you not. He then put bone in the space and told me to come back in a month. This was expensive too.

Then the office called and told me to come back again, yesterday. I saw the oral surgeon’s partner who said I had healed well and they could replace the implant. It would take eight months. He told me his partner and my regular dentist planned a meeting after my appointment. He said it was to decide the best course of action at the least expense. After hearing what this dentist had to say, I wondered if they were meeting to get their stories straight. I’ve heard at least two versions of what went wrong and left the dental office yesterday wanting to punch someone.

So I know that God works all things together for my good — to make me into the image of Christ. He says so. I keep telling myself this is true. He has always proven it true. But I don’t want to do this all over again.

I keep telling myself that God is good and He has a plan. He has never let me down and always works so that I am changed and blessed. But I don’t want eight months of not being able to eat much more than mushy food.

I keep telling myself that there is a Christlike response to this, that I can rejoice and know that He is taking care of me. After all, I had no pain at all after the implant was removed and the freezing wore off. But Jesus likely never had a dentist appointment in His life. And this is going to be expensive.

The problem isn’t the promise. The problem is I-don’t-want-to-itis. I’ve a bad case of it and need more than the annoying overdose of “cheer up, this is fixable,” which is what I got from the second surgeon. Great chair-side manner that guy has.

Sometimes I just want God to hug me.

No comments: