For not he who commends himself is approved, but whom the Lord commends. (2 Corinthians 10:18)Self-evaluation has some importance. I need to see when I have sinned so that I know when to confess my sin. I need to understand my spiritual gifts so I know where I fit in the ministry of our church. I need to know my abilities so that I avoid things too great for me, and know my fears and how I procrastinate so I will move out at the command of God without letting those things stop me.
However, this verse essentially says that patting myself on the back is futile and evaluating what I do is also folly. I’ve said things I thought were powerful, but those words had no effect on anything but my ego. I’ve said things in weakness and trembling, and was later informed that those were life-changing words for someone that heard them. How can I evaluate me?
Can anyone really know what God will do with a life that belongs to Him? Who am I to understand how He works? I’m supposed to obey Him. Whatever He asks of me may not seem as if it has any value at all, yet even when it does, He might not let me see the results or that value.
I’m a goal-oriented person. I like to see fruit from my efforts. Flailing away in the dark is not for me, but God doesn’t have to give His servants eyes to see the plan behind His commands or the reason He gives them.
Faith is about trusting Him when I can see and when I cannot. To live is Christ means that I obey my heavenly Father when I sense He is with me and using me, but also when He seems far away and I have no clue why He asked me to do this or that. Obedience is not about reasons or results, but about knowing that He knows what He is doing.