September 7, 2009

My rebellious heart

I’ve sympathy with those I’ve told to obey God even when His commands seem difficult or do not make sense. Occasionally I get a taste of my own medicine. Now He is asking me to do something that does not sit well and I am digging in my heels.

His timing is totally amazing. I’ve realized that He can orchestrate my life to put me into a place of listening because He knows the verses selected for each day from the book I am reading. He knows how to bring out whatever part of me needs to hear these words —
This also comes from the Lord of hosts, Who is wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance. (Isaiah 28:29)
Digging in my heels over anything regarding God is total folly. He is the Lord of hosts, which suggests that hosts have discovered the wonders of His counsel and the delight of following His excellent instructions. And I’m going to be the one person versus hosts that will prove God is wrong? Who do I think I am?

When I pray for others, I often ask God to give them wisdom and understanding that they might know what to do. I already know what to do, so I don’t need these prayers; I need a willing heart. Yet as I read them again, maybe I do need exactly what they say.

The apostle Paul asked God to grant to believers in Ephesus and everywhere “the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him” (Ephesians 1:17). He expressed similar sentiments in his letter to the Colossians. “We . . . do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding” (Colossians 1:9).

In these prayers, Paul isn’t talking about knowing God’s will, but knowing God. Merely knowing what He wants isn’t enough, as I am finding out. It boils down to a simple question; who do I trust? Is it myself and my limited understanding? Or is it God who knows everything? Is it me, blinded by my I wants? Or is it God who sees when I am blind?

These are silly questions now I’ve written them in black and white and while I still don’t feel like doing what He asks, I’ve now run out of excuses.

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