December 23, 2008

Walk in this light

Yesterday’s thoughts have felt heavy in my mind. How does a person whose habits are lifelong change? I don’t know how to do that, only that as much as I want to be free from those things that waste my time and have me going in circles, my desire will not accomplish it.

This morning I read this verse: “And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will” (Romans 8:27). It is comforting in that it reminds me that God is taking care of me, even my prayer life. I might get in His way, but He knows who I am and what I need. The Holy Spirit even prays when I am up to only groaning about the things on my heart.

My commentary also reminds me that prayer is the breath of my spiritual life and my only effectual relief under the “infirmity” of living here on this earth and being bound by my old habits. It is good to know that the Holy Spirit understands me and comes to my aid. Even better, when I cannot even articulate my situation before God, and at times can only lie groaning before Him, even these wordless groans and a vehicle for the Spirit. He conveys them to my Father and are recognized and understood so that His will can be done in my life.

The devotional reading today (from Ears from Harvested Sheaves) says very well how I feel. I’ve edited it to make it personal and a bit less wordy, but am deeply touched once again by God’s timing as He uses this book and Scripture to lift my heart.
God’s will stands unchanging and as unchangeable as God Himself. My will is always fluctuating; God’s will fluctuates not. Because His will ever lives and rules, it is to my highest wisdom and richest mercy to submit and be conformed to it. The will of God to me is not my destruction, but my salvation. It is my profit now and my happiness hereafter. It is my present grace and eternal glory. As the Spirit is making intercession for me according to the will of God, it is my earnest desire and prayer that my soul should be saved from sin and blessed, and that I should serve God and live to His glory, and then when I die, to be with Him for ever. As that is so, then I must lie at His feet; I must be the clay and let Him be my heavenly Potter. I cannot think or plan ways of saving myself, or put my hand into God’s gracious work. I must be content to be nothing. I must sink even lower than that and be willing to be less than nothing that Christ may be all in all. Above all things, I must also covet the Spirit’s interceding breath, for in possessing that I will have a sure pledge that He will guide me in life, support me in death, and land me in glory. With His guidance I can never err. With His supporting arms I can never fall. Taught by Him, I will see the path of life plainly, and upheld by His strength I will walk in it without fear. Without His light I am dark. Without His life, I am dead. Without His teaching, I am but a mass of ignorance and folly. I cannot find the way except that He guides me, but if He does guide, I cannot help but find it. The more I confide in His teaching and guidance the better it will be for me, and the more that under this teaching I can lie submissively at His Lord’s feet, looking up to Him for His will to be made known and perfected in me, the more it will be for my present peace, and the more it will redound to His eternal praise.
This is like moving along a dark path holding a flashlight. The light moves along only as I step into the light that is before me, one step at a time. While I’d like a plan for the year ahead, or even the week ahead, today’s light is sufficient for today.

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