That way. . . no, that way. . .

My husband’s workplace held a seminar about relationships between various age groups. I found out that the group I am in is often characterized by silence. Most of us won’t say much, at least not right away. Here I thought my tendency to hold back was either a cowardly fear of saying the wrong thing, or just failure to understand the subject matter.

But when God has given me right things to say and a firm grasp of the topic, I sometimes feel like a pretzel. Do I talk or do I shut up? Do I speak convincingly or do I just say as little as possible and let the Holy Spirit convince listeners of the truth? Scripture should clear this up, but . . .

In Acts 18, it is said of Paul that “Every Sabbath he reasoned in the synagogue, trying to persuade Jews and Greeks.”

Then in 1 Corinthians 2, he writes, “When I came to you, I did not come with excellence of speech or of wisdom declaring to you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling. And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.”

In high school, I was always on the debate team because I could give a convincing argument. After I became a Christian, I found out that my convincing arguments were often like salt thrown into a wound: intended to heal but too painful for the wounded. Then God put me into a long and arduous seminar called “Learn to Shut Up, 101.”

After struggling through that one and getting a low but passing grade, I then found myself in “Learn to Speak Up, 101,” hence the feeling of being bent like a pretzel. Do I talk? Do I shut up?

I’m still in that one. I can’t seem to understand the difference between “reasoned . . . trying to persuade” and “not with persuasive words” or the difference between “human wisdom” and “the power of God.”

I do know that God’s power is often hidden to my eyes. He can be at work and I haven’t a clue. I also know that human wisdom is contrary to Scripture, but sometimes we humans can think we are doing what the Bible says and be totally not. (Case in point: all those people who go door to door in the name of Christ and with great sincerity, but with the wrong message.)

So when do I talk, persuade, reason? And when do I shut up? My devotional book says that Christian experience includes both. God offers me strength in weakness, wisdom in foolishness, persuasiveness in silence. I’m simply to pay attention to His leading. I might feel useless, but He might be using me. I might feel fearful and stuck for words, but if I obey Him, He can use silence. I might feel bold and say what is on my heart. He can use that too.

The Bible says I’m to be salt in a decaying world, so I guess being a pretzel is okay. They are a bit twisted, but they are definitely salty.