After breakfast and before doing the dishes, my mother pulled out her Bible and spent time with the Lord. When I was thirteen I decided this was what a woman should do, so I imitated her. I didn’t understand most of it, but persisted. Sixteen years later, the Lord came into my life and at that point, everything began to change. Scripture became alive. The habit, which had become a ritual with no meaningful foundation, became the most important part of my day.
I’ve often wondered how my mother could concentrate on God with four children getting ready for school or whatever we were doing. My mind has trouble staying on one thing even when the room is quiet, and forming habits is ridiculously difficult. I’m so thankful that she set this example, and that somehow the habit stuck.
Years later as I read some of Watchman Nee’s books (he was an historical leader in the church in China), one thing impacted my heart. When asked what it meant to be a Christian, Nee said it was like having two dogs fighting inside him. Then the person wanted to know which one was winning. Nee said, “The one I feed the most.”
I realized at that time I did have two forces fighting inside me. One is the old sinful nature that wants my way. The other is the new nature Christ has created in me. I also realize that I feed the old one every time I flirt with sin, disobey God, listen to lies, and fill my head and heart with nonsense. However, I can feed the new one by attending to spiritual disciplines such as reading the Word of God, prayer, worship, fellowship, ministry to others, and by obeying Him.
My reading today reminds me again of this choice: “Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others”(Philippians 2:1-4).
In other words, what Christ has put in me I must let out. He gave me His love, fellowship, affection, mercy, joy, oneness of spirit, humility, and concern for others as part of my salvation. All of it is from Him—I’m to work it out realizing that He worked it in.
The passage continues: “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus . . .” and another place tells me that I have the mind of Christ. But I still have my own mind too, and that explains the conflict. I hear His voice. I hear my ‘I wants’ and then evaluate. What will I do?
Sometimes I also hear Satan, who Jesus called the ‘liar’ and whose main work is to plant false ideas in my head and divert me from faith and obedience. He suggests things like “How could God love you?” or “If He really cared . . . would never happen.”
People expect Christians to live to a high standard. If they experienced this conflict even for one hour they would realize that it is not always easy or simple. Without the power of Christ who lives in us, our lives would quickly go to the dogs—or at least to the wrong dog!
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