As I read the end of yesterday’s post, I’m thinking I didn’t have to tell lies to feel foolish at the close of the day. Most of it was spent at home in preparation for the writers’ conference, conveniently only a few minutes drive from my house. Surrounded by writers, I should have felt comfortable, right? Wrong! I felt as if I didn’t belong, that every word that came out of my mouth was spoken thoughtlessly, and in a room full of people who are looking for a blessing, I was not part of it.
Of course I talked to God about it when I went to bed. I woke up asking Him for a blessing so I could at least not be a stumbling block to others during the remainder of the conference. He sent me to Acts 19, a story about the power of God. It starts with Paul who “went into the synagogue and spoke boldly for three months, reasoning and persuading concerning the things of the kingdom of God. But when some were hardened and did not believe, but spoke evil of the Way before the multitude, he departed from them and withdrew the disciples . . . .”
Interesting. Because of opposition, Paul withdrew. Did he normally do that? The next few verses tell how he went where his ministry was welcomed and many people were blessed. However, as God used him in miraculous ways, some became envious. The text says, “Itinerant Jewish exorcists took it upon themselves to call the name of the Lord Jesus over those who had evil spirits, saying, ‘We exorcise you by the Jesus whom Paul preaches.’ Also there were seven sons of Sceva, a Jewish chief priest, who did so.”
They wanted to have the same power over evil spirits as Paul did, but they did not know Jesus, the source of that power. Therefore, “the evil spirit answered and said, ‘Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are you?’”
This gave me a bit of a chill. The evil spirits not only did not know these imitators, they did know Paul, and of course, Jesus. As I read that, God reminded me that He is intimately acquainted with all my ways. That is good news, but I don’t like the possibility that evil spirits also know me. This implies they also know how to get to me. They know what temptations to throw at me to trip me and ruin my day.
Thinking back, I know when the first one landed at my feet. I didn’t see it coming and from that point, it was all downhill. Instead of recognizing my failure and dealing with it, I just stumbled through the rest of the day—without God’s help and feeling very helpless.
When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He had good reason for including, “Deliver us from evil . . . .” Falling on my nose and being reminded that I forgot to ask is a humbling experience.
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