July 20, 2006

Oh to be perfect!

I was supposed to take my vehicle to the dealer today, but he wanted it the night before so they could start work early in the morning. So I marked on the calendar yesterday to take the vehicle in, but the day before that I noticed the calendar and thought, I have to take it in the night before, so wound up taking it a day early. Duh!

This time a cancellation made my mistake okay. They fixed the vehicle and it turned out for the good because I need transportation today. However, my slip-ups are not always convenient.

When I became a Christian, why didn’t God take away my capacity to make mistakes? Even more important, why didn’t He totally remove sin too? Why did He leave me with a tendency to be selfish, thoughtless, and even to fight Him? Life would be so much easier if my first battle was not with myself.

We know the stories. If you help a butterfly out of the cocoon, it will die. If you help a chick out of the egg, it will be weak and die. Struggle is necessary for a strong life. I suppose that is true spiritually too. If I didn’t fight error and sin, I wouldn’t appreciate success and godliness either.

Watchman Nee, a Chinese believer, once said, “Being a Christian is like having two dogs fighting inside me.” When asked which one was winning, he replied, “The one I feed the most.”

If I were sinless, I would not need to feed on the Word of God, spend time with Him in prayer, or rely on Him to help me overcome challenges. Eventually, instead of glorifying Him, people would either praise my perfections or be bugged enough to crucify me.

This way, by fighting my own sinfulness and imperfections, I’ve better insight into other people. I have never murdered anyone, but I do understand the rage and vindictiveness that can lead to murder. I’ve not stolen things, but know the temptation. When I pray for other people, my own sinful nature helps me know how they struggle and what to pray for. I can connect with human frailty and sinfulness. It is in me too.

The Apostle Paul had the same struggle. He wrote,
“I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin”(Romans 7:22-25, NKJV).

He wanted to be godly, but that other ‘dog’ wanted to sin. He knew deliverance through Christ, yet he also knew depravity and the war within.

But I am thankful that God gives me the capacity to be godly. Without it, I would not realize just how sinful I can be, and how precious is the forgiveness and grace that God offers. As for those times when I wish He would just shoot that contrary ‘dog’ and give me total victory, I have to remember that day is coming. When I step into eternity, I will “be like Jesus, for I will see Him as He is”— sinless — and this dratted fight will be over.

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