“After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision, saying, ‘Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward.” (Genesis 15:1 NKJV)
I can’t put the details in a blog, but right now I’m feeling the wounds of spiritual warfare. Someone I love appears to be suffering from ‘multiple personality disorder’ which, in Christian theology, could be (and likely is) demonic problems. She manifests two or three personas and often cannot remember what she says or does as she switches from one to the other. More frequently she takes on her ‘authoritative’ mode. She becomes tough, filled with anger, makes threats, and is totally unlike the person we once knew. How absolutely frightening.
As I pray for her, I’m getting attacked too. I know that happens, but still feel defenseless. Who am I to battle the forces of evil? Yet I know I am not alone. This verse says God is our shield. I get an image of Him throwing Himself in front of me, taking the flaming arrows of the evil one. At the same time, part of the battle is willing myself to hide behind that shield, to let Him protect me as I pray that He will protect her.
The verse also says He is our reward. Winning any battle means that I will be closer to Him. Whatever else the spoils of victory, this should hold my focus. I want my loved one to be gloriously saved from her problems. I want to be able to praise God for a mighty victory over evil. I want to point to what He does in her life, even to gloat over the evil one, and yet God says my reward in spiritual warfare is not those things — it is Him.
These are difficult concepts. Can the reality of being close to God match or surpass the reality of seeing someone set free from mental illness and spiritual bondage? Could I grab hold of the idea that if nothing else happened, the reward of simply God is enough? This is not only spiritual war but a huge test of faith.
1 comment:
I will pray too, Elsie...I will pray too.
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