March 18, 2006

Assurance lives with perplexity

“My transgression is sealed up in a bag, and You cover my iniquity. But as a mountain falls and crumbles away, and as a rock is moved from its place; as water wears away stones, and as torrents wash away the soil of the earth; so You destroy the hope of man” (Job 14:17-19 NKJV).

Job’s situation is well known. He lost almost everything, his animals, his family, his health, but according to God’s commendation at the end of the book, he never lost his integrity. He was true to himself.

These verses show that he knew, regardless of his situation, that his sins were covered. God was not punishing him for something, even though his friends accused him of hiding some secret sin. He also knew the hand of God was on him, and that God is the first cause of everything. What he did not understand was why God was allowing such tragedy without giving him some inkling of why or any hope for the future. His words alternate throughout the book between assurance and despair, between trust in Almighty God and confusion about God’s purposes.

Yesterday morning I received a phone call that let me know our family problem was fixed, done with, resolved. I was elated. A few hours later we received a phone call from a man who works with my husband. His daughter, who also works for the same company as the men, committed suicide. She had suffered depression, been treated and seemed fine, but obviously was not letting anyone know her inner thoughts. My husband is deeply affected by this tragic event, and deeply concerned for his friend and co-worker.

I can relate to Job’s conflicting emotions. Part of me holds tight to a God who answers prayer and turns bad situations into good. Part of me wonders at the same God who allows such pain and heartache as the self-inflicted death of a young woman. Couldn’t He, who repaired the one situation also not fix the other?

God never promised a perfect life in a perfect world. It started out that way, but sin ruined everything. Now we struggle, if not with our own sin, simply with the effects of sin on the human race. A depressed person who cannot stand up under this struggle tries to escape it. She could see no other options, or if she could, they held no appeal.

Job might have selected that option too. He suffered extreme loss, then harsh accusations from his friends. He wanted to die. What kept him from trying to escape it all?

The family of this young woman no doubt feel like Job, but unlike him, they don’t have faith in God or assurance of His forgiveness. Their sorrow and unanswered questions are totally unimaginable. In our numbness, we can only pray for them.

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