Charnock’s chapter on practical atheism is getting me down. It is a terrible thing to see all the ways in which I live as if there is no God. This morning I slug through another section and wonder why I decided to read this book. To what end is all this depressing news? I tried to think of God’s mercy. Even though I am this sinful person, He loves me and saved me. That didn’t help. So I closed the book and opened the Bible that I’m reading through this year. Today’s reading from Deuteronomy didn’t start out very appealing either, but one verse caught me: “But to this day the Lord has not given you a mind that understands or eyes that see or ears that hear. During the forty years that I led you though the desert, your clothes did not wear out nor did the sandals on your feet. You ate no bread and drank no wine or other fermented drink. I did this so that you might know that I am the Lord your God.”
The people of God didn’t get it either. They were discouraged and depressed. Even though He had rescued them from bondage in Egypt, God was not showing them the deeper meaning of their journey to the promised land. All they could see was the bleakness of their situation. While He was taking care of them, they keenly felt frustration and dissatisfaction. Would this journey never end?
Yet God had a reason. They were wandering in this bleak place where everything else had been stripped away — so that they might know Him.
Ah, lights come on; I relate. As Charnock takes me apart and makes me realize that I truly am nothing and have nothing, God’s almighty greatness shines through. By seeing my own depravity, I’m better able to realize His holiness. By stripping away my self-centered underpinnings, I’m more able to see His sustaining power and grace. As He reveals my smallness and my sinful tendencies, He also opens my eyes to His immensity, to His love and power to forgive and cleanse me from sin. To better see God, He must first get me out of the way.
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